Just A Memory
by Mistress-0f-Monsters
Summary: Prussia x Austria angst. Some sad moments, a bit of bdsm with Germany, and some awkward relationship moments.
1. Conflict

Gilbert Beilschmidt rushed through the Austrian house that night, digging through kitchen boxes stuffed in closets until he found what he was looking for. Only being 17 the young country was unexperienced in many things such as love and pain. He'd hardly seen the battlegrounds he was so safe with a successful leader. But what he lacked in much knowledge of a battlefield was no problem compared nutrients from food. He was born upon a dead area, hardly able to grow crops. If it weren't for the potato his aging progress would be slow and painful.  
Pulling out a carrot from the box he invaded, Gilbert chomped down the hard vegetable quickly and aggressively hungry from growing pains. Suddenly hearing a tick he stopped chewing so loudly, knowing he'd be in complete shit if he got caught again for being up at such late hours eating rations. For a few seconds he kept quiet, crawling away from where he sat eating, carrot in mouth. 'fick! Why is it so dark?!' He thought to himself, squinting to try and see his way through the unfamiliar kitchen of Austria. Alas to much of no one's surprise he crawled and hit his head on someone's legs, making the carrot fall to the ground.  
Gilbert swallowed hard and slowly looked up smiling with his all but perfectly unperfect smile. "Shi- Oh! H-Hallo Rod... V'at are you doing up so late? I thought I left you sleeping soundly... Hehh..." So busted and proven unawesome. Roderich of course was the unawesome one for being stiff about the diet things.

Cold orbs of dark purple glared down at the stammering Prussian, unaffected by his usual "awesome" smile. The young Austrian stood menacingly above where the would-be thief stood on his hands and knees, towering over him despite only being fourteen. Though technically his junior, Roderich was obviously the more mature of the two, having to keep and eye on his more childish housemate despite being a whole three years younger. It was moments like these that made him wonder how the snowy-haired creep was older than him at all- let alone taller. "Mind explaining why you are crawling around the kitchen so late at night, Gilbert?" he asked, raising a single brow in question. As "awesome" as the Prussian thought he was, he was certainly not one for being stealthy. "You woke me up with all your banging. I had thought to find a burglar, not a thieving albino" he continued, staring at him accusingly. Some would call him a prude, but he really hated losing precious sleep over one of Gilbert's numerous stupid ideas.

Gilbert's smile only grew as he hid the carrot under a hand and stood up, slipping it into his back pocket. "Well uh... You see Rod, I vas sleeping like you und I guess suddenly... I uh... Started to sleep valk. You just voke me up... Und v'at a scary face to vake up to indeed..." Crimson eyes glistened in the darkness, innocent lies being piled out with the 'pretend' pout of exhaustion. "I'm not a thief either... You always say z'at." Making a false face of hurt, Gilbert reached forward and hugged Roderich tightly. "Oh fine... Only because I'm awesome, ja. I did steal a carrot... But I'm just so sick of potato und nothing. I'm so hungry all z'e time I can't help it! Just let me invade your regions bitte? I won't bite you!" Sounding much like a spoiled child, Gilbert couldn't help it for his mind hadn't yet reached his age line. It was silly though to listen to him when he had tantrums.

Roderich's face clearly expressed his blatant disbelief, his dark violet eyes following Gilbert's darkened form with suspicion as he got to his feet. "Oh really...?" he asked, knowing for a fact the the snowy-haired Prussian was a truly heavy sleeper, unable to be woken by even the loudest of noises when he passed out. After years of having to wake him up, the brunette found it hard to believe that he would suddenly have a sleeping condition that he'd never heard about. Ignoring the older boy's whining, Roderich reached forward and snatched the carrot from Gilbert's hand before it could fully be stashed in his pocket, confiscating it. "I believe that makes three times this week..." he remarked absently, grimacing as a pair of pale arms suddenly wrapped around him. Uncomfortable, he pushed stubbornly against the albino's chest, trying in vain to pry Gilbert off before he squeezed all the air out of the young Austrian's chest and suffocated him. "For the last time- I am not letting you invade my 'vital regions'! Maybe if you actually focused on your work instead of playing hooky all day you'd have more food!" he scolded, scowling. Why was he the one who always had to keep and eye on Gilbert?

Gilbert pouted when he was pushed away and stared to where the carrot was confiscated. "You could have at least let me finish it... Und I don't slack. I'm alvays at z'e battle field vhen it is time to go against disgusting foes like you! Kesese! Maybe if you let me take your vitals it vould tire me out so much z'at I vouldn't even bother stealing food." Cockily placing his hands behind his head Gilbert sniffled. "So... Does z'is mean allnighter? Or does it mean bed right now?"

"Not a chance" Roderich replied nonchalantly as he took a bite of the carrot himself, deciding he might as well as it was no longer able to be saved. He merely shook his head at Gilbert's words, sighing as he remembered their most recent battle. It was just his luck; though he was more mature and sophisticated, the elder boy had a stronger physique, his raw physical strength making up for his lack of intelligence. Frowning, he glanced at the still rambling Prussian, his words going into one ear and straight out the other. "I can't believe an idiot like yourself could ever beat me..." he murmured, pressing a hand against his face.

Gilbert rolled his eyes and kicked Roderich's leg when the carrot was crunched down. "You are no fun at all... Just like a woman. Hungary has more balls zhan you do und he's pretty girly at times." Blinking with more of an actual tired pout, Gilbert rubbed one of his eyes and took Roderich's hand, following him back to the bedroom in hopes he wouldn't be questioned for the hand grab. Secretly inside Gilbert thought Roderich was a beautiful person, despite his unawesome stiffness, he was a nice piano thing player and fluent in more than one language. Gilbert wanted to be like that someday, but only knowing few words of each language it was a struggle. On top of that because of his status in religion he couldn't even be fully naked ever. Nor could he freely feel anything for anyone. But inside he kept it quiet about crushing on the Austrian.  
Inside the bedroom, Gilbert took off his boots and sat on the comfy mattress. "Tomorrow I'm going hunting vith Hungary. Care to come? Oh let me think... You can't! Music is more boringly fun zhan a good meal!" Teasing, the Prussian lay back and closed his eyes, almost instantly falling asleep.

Roderich's eye twitched at the Prussian's insult, glaring at him from between his fingers. A small curse escaped his lips when the pale man's foot connected with his own, a small jolt of pain shooting through it. "Would you stop that!" he huffed, raising his head from his hand with an unhappy scowl. He looked as if he were about to say something more when Gilbert suddenly took hold of his hand, dragging him away from the dark kitchen. Surprised, he could only stare curiously at the pale man's hand on his own, pulling him towards their shared bedroom. Confused, he watched as Gilbert continued to rant about something, breaking the previous silence of the room. 'What was that all about?' he thought, rubbing his hand thoughtfully. "Ja... Have fun" he mumbled, not really paying attention. Shrugging the thoughts away, he took off his simple tunic and climbed under the covers beside the obnoxious albino. Gilbert may have had rules against nudity but the young Austrian couldn't care less, the stuffy warmth of the thick cloth always making his skin far too sweaty. Surprisingly more shameless than his companion, he fell asleep without trouble, hardly caring about yet another of the Prussian's hunting trips. Gilbert may laugh at him for it, but he refused to give up his music.

5am the next morning- Gilbert sat up in the bed and looked over at the peaceful sleeping Austrian without thinking he reached over and ran his hand gently though the brunette's hair, almost shuddering at the touch Gilbert gasped in realization and hopped out of the bed, roughly putting his boots on and running away outside to go hunting.

4pm in the afternoon- The door to Roderich's piano study room was slammed open, tears falling down Gilbert's face. A rare sight indeed as the Prussian was always uptight over emotions like that. Before Roderich could move or say anything, the young albino threw himself onto the Austrian's lap and sobbed loud and hard, uncaring that there were other people in the room who usually came for tea and to listen to the music. "Bitte... I need you... To talk... Bitte..."

Roderich sat inside, his fingers dancing gracefully over the ivory keys of his beloved instrument. He gently tapped out the notes, a serene look on his face, his melody sweet but fragile. Eyes closed, all his mind lay focused in the steady flow of the music, his heart exposed fully and truly only in that one moment. It wasn't until the doors to his study burst open that the peaceful melody was broken, causing the young Austrian to jump to his feet, whirling around with a terrified expression. "O-oh, it's just you... Prussia..." he whispered unevenly, lowering the arms he had raised protectively in front of his chest. Still a little shocked by the sudden outburst, it took him a moment to realize that said boy was clinging to him like a child. Raising a hand to his face he coughed to clear his throat and hide the small flush of embarrassment that spread across his cheeks, trying his utmost to ignore the fact that there were other people staring them both down. "Um, perhaps in a more... Private setting?" he asked, trying to pry the pale boy off of him enough to pull him out of the room, away from the prying eyes of total strangers. Something told him what he was about to hear wasn't meant for other's ears... Finally managing to shove Gilbert into one of the inner rooms of his house, he allowed the man to cry against him openly, wrapping his arms hesitantly around the elder boy. "What happened..?"

Tears kept flowing down the Prussian's face, his hands gripping the back of Roderich's jacket as he began shaking. It didn't take long however for him to calm down when Roderich brought him to a quiet area. "I-It's Hungary..." He whispered, "he... He's not who zhey say he is... You see... I vas only trying to help... He vas bleeding... Und boobies... Und... Female..." Awkwardly, Gilbert moved out of Roderich's arms and looked up at him, crimson eyes glimmered with tears begging for forgiveness, it was in that second though, Gilbert for the first time actually looked at Roderich from such a close angle, his face moving closer and closer until their lips touched for a brief second. "Wow..." He breathed out, eyes half lidded before widening. "Fick!" Blushing harshly the Prussian confusedly jumped away and ran out of the room, Teutonic cross falling on the floor from his pocket.  
Gilbert kept running until he was in the back yard garden maze. Panting hard from the run he fell to his knees and began praying for help and forgiveness from what would be his god, not knowing or caring if anyone saw him.

Roderich's face twisted into a look of intense worry, his arms tightening protectively around Gilbert's shaking form as he completely fell apart. What could have possibly happened while he was gone? "It's alright..." he murmured over and over quietly, awkwardly raising a single hand to hesitantly pet the Prussian's snowy hair, hoping it would help calm him down. The young Austrian could only stand there as Gilbert finally fell silent, clutching his jacket as if to keep himself from drowning, his pale face buried in the cloth of Roderich's shirt. He listened with furrowed brows, trying to understand the Prussian's quiet words, attempting to piece together what had happened. "So... You tried to help Hungary with an injury but instead... Saw a naked woman?" he asked uncertainly, not quite understanding what the shorter man was trying to say. Confused, he tried to figure out how an injured Hungary had anything to do with a bare-chested woman. Was he saying they saw a woman or that Hungary had breasts..? "You make no sense" he whispered, smiling slightly as he ran his hand through Gilbert's soft hair. It was kind of cute, actually. He knew the Prussian had sworn something to his god, his religion forbidding sexual relationships, but the sight of just how much it affected him made it hard for him to contain his amusement at the poor boy's teary face. He didn't notice just how close their faces were until a pair of scarlet eyes were nearly level with his own dark violet pools, their lips brushing lightly against each other. Roderich's eyes widened suddenly, falling back until his body collided with the sturdy wall behind him, a hand pressed over his mouth in shock. 'What was that!? he thought, watching helplessly as Gilbert ran away.

It took him a few minutes to get over the shock, his mind blank as he looked absently around the room. A gleam of metal caught his eye, drawing his gaze to the cross laying forgotten on the floor. 'That belong's to Prussia...' he thought, recalling that it was the symbol of the Knights. Making his way towards it he knelt and carefully picked it up off the floor, examining it a moment before slipping it into his jacket. He'd need to give it back to him later... Only, that would require knowing where he went in the first place... Following the hasty steps of his Prussian companion, Roderich hurried after him, worried about what trouble he might get in to in such a state. Arriving outside, he could only guess which way Gilbert might have gone, choosing a random direction and heading in it as he called out a worried "Prussia!" as he walked.

Gilbert begged and begged for forgiveness, his heart shattering in different ways. First off, his best friend was a female and he gazed upon her body foolishly like a pervert. Second off, he kissed Roderich. A male. Vows were broken and guilt flowed through Gilbert's body. It was then, he heard the voice calling out for him, looking back he saw Roderich calling his name. He couldn't hide it anymore. Stepping out of the maze, Gilbert rubbed his tear-stained cheek and took a deep breath in. "Austria... V'at happened zhere... I don't know v'at came over me... Y-you... I-it's... A long day ja? Und I... Gazed upon her body... Hungary is a female. She got into a fight und I noticed she vas bleeding. So I vent to aid hi-her wounds... Und her shirt fell... I don't care z'at she vas a female... She lied to us. Unless you knew? Did you know?" Looking up at Roderich curiously Gilbert's eyes vastly switched directions, the blood pools holding something back. Why couldn't he look at the Austrian without feeling funny inside? What were these feelings? "I think I'm sick... I need help..." Placing his hand over his forehead, the young Prussian walked up to Austria and leaned in, hiding his face in his shoulder. "Roddie... I-I think... I'm living a lie... Every time I look at you, I feel funny here..." The young country moved his free hand and took Roderich's placing it over his heart. "Y-You're smarter zhan me... Tell me it'll go avay... Bitte..."

Roderich called Prussia's name over and over again, growing more and more worried as he couldn't find the snowy-haired albino in his usual hiding spots in the maze. Had he wondered away from the house and into the forest? "Prussia!" he shouted once more, brows furrowed as he turned his head every which way. Usually he would just wait in the house, playing a soothing melody on his beloved piano until the hot-headed Prussian was done throwing whatever tantrum he was stuck on for that day, but something about that kiss stuck in the back of his mind, refusing to leave until he found Gilbert and brought him home. Turning a corner, he was just about to call out again when he finally spotted an oddly white patch of hair, finding the poor shaking boy in the clearing at the center of the maze. "Prussia...?" he asked, approaching him carefully as not to spook him. Laying a hand on the shorter boy's shoulder, Roderich did his best to comfort him as he started ranting about what he could only guess was what happened. Standing there with a look of pity on his face, he could only listen silently as Gilbert let out everything that seemed to have been troubling him. 'So that's what it was...' he thought, smiling sadly at the boy's question. Sighing, he shook his head, "No, I had no idea... I always thought Hungary was weird, but I never thought he'd turn out to be, well, a she." To be honest, he still found it hard to believe. He'd have to ask Hungary himself about it later... Roderich's eyes turned back to Gilbert at the mention of being sick, looking at him with a bit of surprise. No matter what stupid stunt he pulled, Gilbert never got sick. Not once. He was about to ask him if he had a fever but stopped after hearing the more detailed explanation of his "illness", his eyes widening with realization. "Y-yeah..." he murmured awkwardly, a somewhat uncomfortable look on his face; the Austrian hated lying. "It's... Just a kind fever. It makes you feel weird- like in your chest, sometimes below your waist. It goes away after a while... Uh, we should get you in bed though... You don't want to make it worse, after all..." he explained, trying to smile as he lied so blatantly to his housemate.

Gilbert sniffled and rubbed his nose as he pulled away from Austria nodding. "Maybe it vas from being up so late?" The poor Prussian turned away and hunched a bit as he walked actually feeling sick now, traveling the maze's paths which he knew off by heart. Once out he looked towards the house, barely speaking in a whisper, "Rod... About z'at kiss... I don't know why I did it. But I'll be truthful. It felt right for some reason..." Half a chuckle sounded and Gilbert's expression changed to that of a unusual shyness.  
Once inside the house, Gilbert took his boots off at the front door and casually walked upstairs. He had an uneasy feeling though, like maybe Roderich wasn't being fully honest. Then again, he was superior despite being younger. Gilbert could trust him. Turning to the left, Gilbert opened the shared bedroom door and walked in. Surprisingly though, he took his clothes off, being fully naked like a newborn baby. This was rare. The albino's skin was smooth and soft looking. Not a single scratch or mark over it. Gilbert was almost perfect actually. Not thinking about the nudity, Gilbert crawled under the blankets of the bed and curled up. "H-Hey Rod? Vould it be okay... If later I could have some food? I didn't get lucky with z'e hunt." Yawning, with the question, Gilbert closed his eyes looking like a cute angel. However he was anything but on a normal day.

Looking away, he hid the guilt shining in his dark violet eyes by glancing towards where he guessed the house was, refusing to look directly at the sniffling Prussian. He knew what Gilbert's supposed "illness" actually was, that the only reason he felt so sick was because he had cried himself to exhaustion, no doubt still hungry from his usual growing pains... It felt like an act of betrayal, lying so easily to someone who trusted him so honestly. Sighing heavily, the young Austrian could only try and support the elder boy as they returned to the soothing warmth of the house, making sure he didn't try to wonder off again. It wasn't a comfortable walk. Neither of them looked at the other, Roderich far too uncomfortable and Gilbert far too shy to risk eye contact. He couldn't find the right words to say, still uncertain about how he felt. It wasn't every day you were thrown into a situation like that. "Maybe you're just confused..." he replied slowly, trying to pass off his words as casual. "I'm sure you just felt like kissing someone after seeing a woman's naked chest like that. It hear it's common for boy's our age..." Roderich continued, a faint blush covering his cheeks at his own words. What in the world was he saying!? 'Please God, don't make me have to explain... That to him...' he thought despairingly, praying that the Prussian was ignorant enough to not know anything about sex or erections. It was bad enough as it was, let alone without having to give someone four years older than him the talk about "the birds and the bees".

Roderich nearly collapsed against the wall in relief, having made sure the "sick" Prussian had taken off his boots properly and headed for bed like he'd told him to. He'd somehow managed to escape further explanations, though he knew he'd have to be a lot more careful around Gilbert when he "recovered". 'God help me...' he thought, letting out a groan as he pressed his palms against his face in shame. Glancing towards the stairs, he turned and headed towards the kitchen, planning on preparing the ailing Prussian something to make him feel better, sick or not.

It was a little later when the head of a certain young Austrian popped into the room, peering inside before walking in. A tray in his hands, the smell of hot food floated into the room with him, a bowl of carrot, potato, and cabbage stew steaming on the gleaming metal. "Prussia..?" he called carefully, unsure if he was awake or not. Seeing the ablino's pale form curled up in a mess of blankets he set the food on a table to the side, approaching the bed with a small frown on his face. "Prussia, wake up. I brought you something to eat" Leaning over, he grabbed the pale boy's shoulder, shaking him roughly, completely unaware of his nudity.

Gilbert lay still in the bed for hours, on and off in a dream land. Most of the dreams were good but there was an odd twist to each. Especially the last one, where it was just Roderich and he, sitting together at a pond laughing and talking. They were much older however. The dream was cut short though and Gilbert's nose was awoken by the scent of a heartwarming meal. The pressure being added to his shoulder was enough to make him open his crimson orbs. "Mm... V'at is z'at smell?" Forgetting about being naked, Gilbert sat up and rubbed his eyes, the blankets falling and just covering his waist. His pale chest being exposed for the first time in front of the Austrian. "Oh... Rod? You didn't have to go through z'e trouble of actually making me food..." Pale skin flushing red across his face, Gilbert took the food and smiled sweetly. "Ah! Stew! Just v'at I need to help me get better!" Being a little too hasty to eat, he burnt his top lip, quickly covering it his his hand, "autch! Hot!" Groaning he fell back against the bed and pouted. "As if I vasn't already starving now I have to vait for temperatures to change..." Starving... Even through there was more than enough food in his country for most of the people, Gilbert was the one suffering most for he gave everything for the people. One day he saw a woman in the town whom couldn't afford anything, if it weren't for Gilbert she'd have nothing to eat for he gave her a few things he stole from the Austrian kitchen. Gilbert may have been a complete clueless dick half the time in arrogance. But he had a sweet kind heart and knew what was right and wrong. And that showed over his small untaken care of body. His ribs almost protruded out of his skin. As if anorexic without being anorexic.  
While waiting impatiently for the few moments the meal took to cool off, Gilbert looked up at Roderich from the bed, "danke... Z'is vas nice of you even zhough you're not as awesome as I... You're pretty cool." Taking a spoonful of the food again, GIlbert blew against it and took his first actual bite, eyes lighting up with joy. "Ahh! It's gute!"  
Not many words were spoken as Gilbert ate the meal, not leaving a single morsel left on the dish when he finished. "I feel better Rod... I guess I really did need z'e sleep." Smirking, without thinking of his nudity, the Prussian pulled the Austrian down and hugged him tightly, face blushing over again. "You're so varm... Sure you're not sick?" Touching Roderich's forehead, Gilbert shrugged. "Oh vell... Maybe it's just from cooking. I hope you ate as vell."  
Letting Roderich go to take his dish down for cleaning, Gilbert removed the sheets from over himself, and instant meltdown of realization hitting as the draft did. "FICK! Rod! Avert your eyes! I-I'm not prop-" Cutting off halfway Gilbert chuckled and shrugged. "V'at does it matter?" As if suddenly losing all his shame, the Prussian stood tall and proud. "Nine meters say hallo to z'e vorld! Kesesese!" A complete facepalm moment the Prussian carelessly ventured down the stairs, leaving the Austrian alone with a sight he'll probably never forget that was now wandering the home.

The young Austrian smiled faintly upon seeing the Prussian's peacefully sleeping face, glad that he seemed to have gotten over what had been troubling him earlier. "Are you finally awake?" he asked impatiently, giving him a final shake just to make sure. Satisfied, he turned around, releasing the now conscious Gilbert's shoulder in order to pick up the stew and hand it to him. "You looked like you needed it..." he replied with a dismissive wave of his hand, sitting on the edge of the bed. He let out a short chuckle as he watched Gilbert try and wolf it down, burning himself like a child would. He didn't even notice it until the pouting Prussia lay back down, his amused expression suddenly morphing into a look of total surprise. Confused, he could only stare as Gilbert's pale skin lay completely exposed before him, the usually clothed boy utterly naked for the first time in- well, since the Austrian had known him. He was taken aback, not expecting it to look so smooth, much more fragile than one would ever expect from the "awesome Prussia". Unable to help himself, his eyes glanced down towards the- thankfully- clothed portion of Gilbert's body, his eyes catching on the oddly distinct bones of the boy's ribcage. 'Has he not been eating...?' he wondered, fighting the urge to reach forward and touch the pale skin. Staring blatantly at the albino's unclothed body, he didn't even register the words being spoken to him nor the compliment of his food, his attention only returning when he suddenly found himself being pulled down towards the bed. Flushing pure crimson, he twisted and tried to pull himself away from the Prussian's much stronger hold. "N-no, not at all..!. It's just from the fire..." he stuttered, desperate to get away. Eyes wide, Roderich's entire face burned red as Gilbert stood, exposing much more of his body than he'd ever wanted to see. Shocked by the sudden boldness and revelation of certain bodily parts, Roderich almost missed the Prussian's speech about "showing the world". Letting out a sharp noise that was part surprise, part horror, he lunged forward without thinking, wrapping his arms around Gilbert's abdomen in an attempt to drag him away from the door, his hands gripping against the boy's bare skin. "Idiot! You can't walk around like that!" he exclaimed, pulling him in the opposite direction, too focused on the possible shame his housemate would bring him to care about where he touched.

Gilbert stopped when he was suddenly grabbed by Roderich, "ah! Let me go! Am I z'at irresistible?!" Frowning, he pushed Roderich away and crossed his arms, staring at the brunette curiously for a long minute. "Vell... I guess if you vant me z'at much." Moving over to the Austrian, Gilbert placed his lips to Roderich's gently, their soft moist texture imprinting better than the first time. Pushing Roderich back now against the wall of the bedroom, Gilbert reached down and touched Roderich's front zone slowly. "Vital regions claimed." Winking, Gilbert pulled himself away and shook his head sighing. "Vell... I guess I need clothing ja?" Uncaring about Roderich's reaction, Gilbert moved to the huge closet and quickly changed into a charming uniform. When he moved out into the open and placed his hands on his hips and chuckled. Of fucking course he knew about what sex was and how it affected the human body. It was the inner heart pains he thought to be more worrisome about, thus leading him to ask the question on in he was really sick. The payback for Roderich's lie however was priceless. Face made into a cute but surly blushing hot mess. "V'at's vith z'e look? Vant more? I have lots." Winking the teasing Prussian turned and shook his ass cutely. "Nein? Fine. I see how it is." Shrugging, he moved to the door of the bedroom, opening it. "Vant to go swimm-" CLINK .  
The Prussian went silent as he fell to the ground, his crimson blood filling the air with small droplets. A tall man in an Austrian uniform stood over the young Prussian and he scoffed. "As here by today, the estate of Prussia is under Austrian invasion. No longer an alliance we will see you live under our order or sufferage will occur. Prepare yours army. With a salute to Roderich, the man turned stiffly and marched away, sheathing his blade as he did so.  
Gasping for air, Gilbert gripped the stained carpet flooring. The wound was deep and lay across his once perfect chest. New clothing ripped with the new gash. It took a great deal of effort for him to sit up, holding onto it with pressure of his arm. "S-Son...Of...a.B-Bitch..." He spoke out in pain, gritting his teeth as he glared at Austria. "Z'is... V-Vhy?" Not understanding the fairness of this, Gilbert lost a great deal of trust towards Roderich. It was now that would decide on if Roderich was a true friend by person... Or simply just a heartless country the humans wanted him to be. "B-Bitte... I'm bleeding...T-Too much..." Clattering teeth sounded in the silent room as the albino began to go into shock from the wound.

"As if I would have interest in such vulgar things!" Roderich shot back, smacking the Prussian's groping hand away. Still shocked by Gilbert's sudden invasion of his personal space, he stood against the wall, shaking in anger. The young Austrian's entire face flushed red, his embarrassment making his body burn with insult and rage. It was moments like that that made Roderich refuse to show the devious Prussian any kindness, even when he was starving under the Austrian's personal care. 'I should have let him deal with his problems himself' he thought coldly, turning his head and torso away. Clutching his clothing, he adjusted it back to where it was supposed to be, too busy fixing the ruffled material to listen to whatever it was that Prussia was going on about. He was just about to say something scalding in response to Gilbert's invasive and far too arrogant show of attitude when his ears were suddenly filled with the sound of a small explosion of blood and agony, whirling around just in time to see said Prussian falling to the floor in a misty spray of blood. Eyes wide, he stood frozen as a small pool of blood slowly built up around the injured Gilbert. A cold look filled his eyes, his anger subsiding as it was replaced with something much more empty and unfeeling. He nodded to the officer, wincing when Gilbert turned his eyes towards him instead. "I thought I'd have more time..." he whispered, turning dark violet eyes upon the injured Prussian. "I told you... You really shouldn't slack off during work" he said quietly, giving the pale boy a small, sad smile, "If you hadn't, you would have seen the declaration of war." Sighing heavily, he stepped forward and walked towards the door, his eyes refusing to meet Gilbert's. He paused only once, looking over his shoulder at the weakening Prussian with an unreadable expression. "Goodbye, Prussia." With that, he turned and left the room, silently swearing that he was leaving that house forever.

* * *

 **Note:** Hey, Sorry for the cliffhanger but I promise that everything will start to really get rolling soon! Be warned- there will be smut. Then again, there usually is. I know the layout is a bit weird, but this is another RP that I converted into a story, so please bear with me.

 **Posted:** 5-9-2015


	2. Challenge

It was then with Roderich's harsh cold words and movement, reality of war and politic hit Gilbert hard in the gut. Seeing his only friend and source of shelter leave without so much as a look. 'Look at me... Please... Roderich I need you... It's too soon...' Those words ran through the Prussian's mind over and over until he was truly alone to suffer. He fell back and hit his head on the floor hard, his lungs working hard to breathe as he managed to use what little strength he had left to shout, "T-TRAITOR! YOU WILL NEVER BE A FRIEND OF PRUSSIA AGAIN!" Staring up at the ceiling, Gilbert's eyes were filled with tears, pouring down the sides of his face. It didn't take long for the room to become black as he passed out.  
\- 1 and a half days later -  
Gilbert paler than ever with the wound still bearing his chest stood out in the front lines of the battle about to start between two fine countries. "The sooner z'is is done... Z'e sooner ve can rejoice und kiss our mutter's cheeks as zhey make us a great meal." Still in great pain from the wound, Gilbert got up on his horse and fixed himself in the saddle, edging it to run forward he glared through the crowd of many soldiers clashing together. They all fought for their homes and families. Even though they mattered to the Prussian there was one face he looked for in that crowed. "Found you..." He growled, hopping down from his horse, sword in hand. His eyes had bags under them from exhaustion and pain that bared around his chest. The crimson filled with hatred as they fixed upon the brunette. Sounding out a battle cry, the albino ran straight out at the Austrian, swords clashing together. "Slacking off? You look vell rested for a man who's so in love vith var. Maybe your people vould like you better if you actually sacrificed yourself for zhem!" Poison words left Gilbert's mouth without hesitation, trying to provoke the Austrian into making a wrong move. Despite being weak and injured, Gilbert held a strength much deeper than expected. And it kept him going. Driving him mad with violence and fury. "I von't lose to you... Vhen ve're done here... You'll be kissing mein ass und begging for forgiveness you stupid swine." Despite the harsh words though, they cut deeper into Gilbert's breaking heart. With each move, tears and more tears fell down his face until they suddenly stopped and he breathed in and out smoothly. Becoming more composed as the battle dragged out. Making less mistakes in his swordsmanship.

-

Blood and metal danced in his vision, the scent of rot filling his nose with its sickly sweet stench. It wouldn't be long before this battlefield became a mass grave... The young Austrian danced through his enemies, ever so light on his feet as his blade whistled through the air, as sharp and precise as the notes of his beloved instrument. To be honest he absolutely hated war, preferring political reasoning and the more delicate, refined arts of the era rather than bloodsport. Streaks of crimson colored his face; a painful reminder of who- and what- he really was. The soldier's faces were all nothing but a blur to him, a human shape with a slightly different smudge of a face. It was easy to cut them down, much easier than he ever wanted to admit. A cold gleam settled in his dark violet eyes, his face like stone, solemn, unchanging. He would not lose this war. Roderich's armor clinked as he moved, shifting with his every strike and lunge, much more flexible and light compared to the armor of his soldiers, allowing him freer movement and greater speed. He whirled around to face yet another of the many soldiers behind him- only to come face to face with a pair of ruby-red eyes. 'Prussia...' Austria's eyes hardened at the sight of his once-friend, having half-expected the pale menace to sleep through the entire battle like he did through his daily chores. "Unlike you I actually think before I act!" he growled, pushing against the injured man mercilessly. Roderich's eyes narrowed at the venom in Gilbert's words, turning the bloodied blade to the side as to put a grueling amount of pressure on the Prussian's still fresh injury, his stance wide as to give him more leverage against the slightly shorter man. He refused to lose. Shouts erupted all around them as the battle raged, only they remaining untouched as both side's soldiers avoided their heated clash. Austria glared down at Gilbert as they came to a dead-lock, his eyes meeting the Prussian's without the slightest trace of remorse. "Why don't you go back to your own country and get drunk already!" he shouted against the noise of the battlefield, gritting his teeth as Gilbert's moves became more and more focused, taking more effort to block and parry. Knowing he was outmatched in strength and skill, Roderich went against his own rules and changed tactics, rolling to the side and throwing a large handful of fine dust in the albino's eyes. "I refuse to lose to a unsophisticated slob like you!"

-

Gilbert cried out, being blinded by the disgusting dirt Roderich threw up at him. His already failing vision completely blank. "Damn you.. Bastard!" Having no time to fully react to the blind, Gilbert kelp still, listening and moving inch by inch, keeping cool as to not show this weakness. "I am no more slob zhan you are. Mein people are at least clean und fair vith zheir killings to your peo- Unlike z'e veak scum you are who has to try und cheat zheir vay to victory. Zhis dirt in mein face is proof enough z'at no matter how hard you try... You just can't over power a country z'at vill prove to be much greater und stronger in z'e future." Gilbert's vision slowly came back with the time stalling speech, now only able to see shadowed outlines. His chest hurt him as much physically as it did mentally. Roderich was growing desperate and more fierce with his movements. It was all too clear he wasn't yet prepared or old enough to handle this type of warfare. Being more brainy than broad, Roderich was quite the opposite of Gilbert in times of war. "So you thought I vould just abandon mein people und sleep vhile zhey fight for me? Never. I'm not a traitor tovard mein people... I refuse to be like you. I lay begging for your pity as a freund. Not a political country... Roderich... I found out z'at feeling I had... Deep in mein chest... Today I vill show you v'at it is vhen I vin!" Jumping up, Gilbert's sword swung elegantly around his head, his legs kicking the Austrian down to the ground hard. Holding the sword barely an inch away from Roderich's nose, the leader of the Prussian army screamed out with glee suddenly and held up the head of the Austrian's leader. This war was now finished. Gilbert's vision fully came back and he stared down at Roderich, not even blinking as he carefully removed his foot's hold, sword being raised up in the air. "You see... You can't beat me. You I vill see later in mein home." Smiling, Gilbert began to join the rest of the surviving Prussian's glee. However he wasn't able to stop the new tears that fell down his face.  
\- Later -  
Gilbert walked down the stairs of his home, cleaned with fresh bandages. He looked a lot better than he had that morning before the battle. Still exhausted though he opened the door for the awaiting Austrian at his door. "Early as alvays... Danke... Come in." Stepping out of the way, Gilbert allowed Roderich to approach inside.

-

Roderich snarled, avoiding the few soldiers brave enough to try and aid their heroic Prussia, trying to keep his eyes on him despite the constant unease of the armies around them. "All is fair in love and war" The young Austrian quoted, his eyes focused even as he felt his strength beginning to wane. Despite his best efforts, his men were being cut down one by one before him, falling before Gilbert's more seasoned and properly trained soldiers. He grit his teeth as he continued fighting, drowning out the dying cries of his men around him, their very blood mixing into a disgusting fleshy mush beneath his feet. "I am not weak- and neither are my people!" he growled fiercely, his own sullied blade clashing once again with the Prussian's sword, his eyes darkening as he spoke. The Austrian knew all too well that he wasn't suited for a full-fledged war yet, but he still had to try. His people depended on him, even if he couldn't depend on himself. With a grunt of pain Roderich fell hard onto the ground, his sword clattering somewhere off to his side. He didn't try to get up, merely laying there in the remains of the fallen and torn, muddy earth, his face as solemn and stone-like as ever. "Maybe I am a traitor, but I would never abandon my people." he replied calmly, staring up the length of the blade and straight at its owner. Not a shred of remorse lay in that dark violet gaze, any and all emotion carefully locked away in a box somewhere deep inside of him. He said nothing more, only closed his eyes and sighed as the victory cheer rose through the ranks. The battle was over.

Roderich said nothing, quietly looking off to the side rather than straight at the man standing in front of him when Gilbert answered the door. He entered the house slowly, watching the bandaged Prussian from the corner of his eye. 'So this is to be my new home..?' he thought, risking a glance at the interior. He didn't know what wait for him in this house, but with all that happened the day before, he knew it couldn't be good.

-

Gilbert watched Roderich carefully as he entered the house. The interior was warming with a natural wooden approach to it part of it, marble for the rest. "Z'is is not your home. I simply invited you out of z'e kindness. I'm sure you are somev'at of an outcast now?" Raising his brows, Gilbert made an attempt in a friendly smile. "Bitte... Roderich..." Taking his hand gently, Gilbert led him into a small closet, slamming and locking the door shut. "Listen to me now." Grabbing his face, Gilbert made sure the Austrian looked at him as he switched on a small light. "V'at happens in z'e field of var stays zhere, ja? Because I know you have emotion under z'at mask. I've seen it. You are Austria out zhere und I am Prussia... But here. As ve are. Gilbert und Roderich... I don't vant z'is hate... Vhen you look at me now... You no longer see me... Vhy not? Vhy am I such filth to you?" Having troubles understand Roderich's actual wants and emotions, Gilbert tried his best to dig seep. Never breaking his eye contact.  
"Roderich... You are whom I care about... Und you are who I vant to please und make happy. You know as vell as I z'at I have to seal... Z'e var through claiming you. Let's just... Have a good time about it... Food... Drinks... You have full freedom but vhen it's time for z'e lights... Ahh..." Being absolutely terrible with words, Gilbert simply trailed off and scratched behind his head. His chest beating hard as his heart's pulse could be seen through his wrapped up chest.

-

Roderich stood there for a moment, as if uncertain of what to do with himself. It was a strange feeling, being in someone else's house, especially after they'd laid dominion over you. 'That's right... I have nothing left now...' he thought, looking down at one of his hands quietly. So what did that make him? He jumped somewhat violently when Gilbert suddenly took his hand, having been lost in thought. Confused, the young Austrian could only watch as he was dragged along, getting stuffed inside the small closet without much warning. What was Gilbert up to now? Roderich's eyes widened as the Prussian took hold of his face, unable to escape his ruby-red gaze no matter what he did. Uncomfortable, he squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his hands forcefully against the man's chest. Gilbert's words stung more than he knew. Clutching the material of the Prussian's uniform tightly in his hands, he grit his teeth, not wanting to hear those honest words. "I have never hated you..." he whispered softly, opening his dark violet eyes to look at Gilbert once more. Sadness dwelled deep within those eyes, each word taking considerable effort to get out. The fingers on Gilbert's chest loosened their grip, one hand moving to just barely touch the Prussian's bandages. "Does it hurt..?" Roderich asked suddenly, turning his gaze to the fresh cloth covering what must have been a horrendously painful wound. It was difficult for him to find the right words, unable to help the mask he wore to protect himself. He couldn't find a way to explain, to tell Gilbert all that had happened before the war- and what had lead to his current injury.

-

Gilbert listened carefully, his eyes widening at the whispered words that came out of Roderich's mouth. It was as if a relief lifted from his chest. Holding still, the Prussian let Roderich touch his wound's dressings. "Ja... It hurts. But not as much as z'e pain I felt zhere vhen you valked avay from me..." Gilbert gently touched Roderich's hand, his thumb caressing the soft skin gently. "Because of z'e victory und because I'm not made like a human it's almost healed now. Vant to see it?" Letting the hand go, Gilbert took his shirt and the bandaging off carefully, exposing a large fresh scar marking. "I think it adds to mein awesome looks, don't you agree?" Trying to be lighthearted now, Gilbert smiled softly. All the hate and anger from earlier that day melted away. He was glad Roderich was trying to talk to him openly now.

-

Without asking for permission Roderich reached forward with the hand that had been on the bandages, letting his fingers run gently over the fragile flesh of the Prussian's now exposed wound. He may have been relieved that it no longer looked life-threatening, but he couldn't help but worry that Gilbert would do something overly rash and tear it open again. Guilt knotted in his chest as he stared at the marred flesh, knowing all too well that it was his fault that such a wound had been inflicted. After all, he'd been the one to order it. "You really are an idiot..." he sighed, shaking his head at the the snowy-haired man standing in front of him. Carefully pulling his hand away, he ran it through his hair, leaning his head back against the wall with a soft "thump". Glancing at Gilbert through the space between his raised arm, he only then realized how relieved the Prussian looked, his nerves in comparison only getting stretched thinner and thinner as the day dragged on. Frowning, he reached forward with both hands, pinching Gilbert's cheeks like one would a child. "Quit looking so pleased with yourself, will you?" Roderich's eye twitched, showing his annoyance.

-

Gilbert paused when Roderich touched his chest, looking down at the soft hand. "I'm not z'at pleased vith meinself am I?" The albino questioned, placing his hand over Roderich's again. Watching the Austrian thump back against the wall, Gilbert couldn't help but stare. "Your beauty still shows like z'e music on your sheets of music..." Suddenly without hesitation, Gilbert leaned in, his lips pressing gently against Roderich's, a gasp and tear falling down his face as the feeling shot through him. "Mein gott..." He murmured, pulling away and looking into the dark purple hues. His heart beat faster and faster before his lips moved to the Austrian's cheek, slowly kissing it. "I think... I'm in love v'th you Rod..." Blush spread across the albino's face, his face holding still to see what the brunette's reaction would be.

-

Roderich merely raised a single brown eyebrow at the blushing Prussian, wondering where that kiss had come from so suddenly. Tilting his head to the side, he stared at the man quietly, a small, mischievous smile working its way across his lips as he thought. "You are infatuated with me, are you?" he asked, a dark gleam gathering those violet eyes of his. A chuckle crossed his lips, his hand sliding up from Gilbert's wounded chest to his neck, his fingers caressing the man's jaw. The young Austrian's grip turned hard, taking the Prussian's pale chin in his deceptively delicate hand. "I just remembered... Gilbert, you're a virgin aren't you?" he asked, leaning forward to look coolly into the man's ruby-red eyes. "Tell me, how do you expect me to believe you when you don't even know what it's like to be loved?" Leaning closer, Roderich's smile gained a sly edge, "Shall we try it out then?" he whispered into Gilbert's ear, his lips brushing against the man's pale skin. The young Austrian's hands slid down the Prussian's sides, slipping beneath the man's trousers to caress the pale flesh beneath.

-

Gilbert's crimson eyes stayed glued to Roderich's face. The words the younger man spoke hurt him deep down inside. "You don't even know v'at it's like to be loved yourself... Typical for you to say zhough... How vould you even know. You're younger unless you let vone of your masters touch you-" Crimson eyes widened as Roderich's hands moved down the fabric of his trousers however. "Roderich... I may not know everything about sex... But I do know v'at love is. Und you don't seem to have z'at for me... So I refuse to touch you until..." Backing up, Gilbert put his shirt on again and backed out of the small space of the closet, playing of course hard to get. Of course the boner in his trousers proved that wrong. He desperately wanted to take Roderich away... But if he did, what would that make him? A monster?  
Walking out of his house, Gilbert sat down on the front step. "I love him so much... It hurts... Und I can't even gain z'e guts to confront him or ask v'at he's feeling... It's almost numb... Z'e vay he looks at me..." Thinking he was alone, the albino ran a hand through his white locks and shook his head, feeling rather lonely. No one wanted him.

-

The young Austrian's lips twisted into a pitying smile, his dark violet eyes amused by the Prussian's bold words. "I may be younger than you Prussia, but I was never sworn to chastity like you were. Didn't you ever wonder why I would disappear for whole days at a time, not returning until late morning?" he replied, chuckling as he shook his head. "You always were so oblivious." Roderich saw how much his words stung but refused to hold them back, no longer caring to hide the truth of his "impurity" to Gilbert. He'd been quite the popular "gentleman" back in his own country, using his aristocratic charm to sweep whatever poor soul that was his most recent victim completely off their feet, toying with the hearts of many. He may have had a solemn, respectable appearance whilst in public and during political meetings, but in private he held no mercy for those vulnerable to his allure. Perhaps that was why he was always so cold and indifferent, having long lost his belief in the "love" that everyone always spoke of. He could only laugh to himself when Gilbert tried to back away despite the small, cramped space of the closet. "You say that..." he remarked casually, his eyes drifting down to where he had touched, "but I believe your body says otherwise." Allowing the flustered Prussian to escape, he could only watch as his housemate disappeared, sighing to himself when Gilbert had gone. 'I think I just avoided one awkward situation by creating another one...' he thought, scratching thoughtfully at the back of his neck. The temptation to follow Gilbert and corner him sat at the back of his mind, but he couldn't help but wonder how the Prussian would act, not wanting to start yet another fight. He didn't have the energy. Frowning, he stepped out of the closet and began to head in a random direction, planning on exploring Gilbert's house, when he heard a voice nearby, turning curiously towards the sound. 'Prussia..? He really didn't go that far did he...' Roderich thought, walking towards the front door. Opening it, he leaned against the door frame, looking down at Gilbert with an eyebrow raised. "You are, without a doubt, the worse hider I have ever seen" he said from behind him, watching to see what the man's reaction would be.

-

Hearing Roderich's voice behind him Gilbert turned his head and shrugged. "V'at does it matter if I hide avay? I just vanted to get fresh air for a smoke..." The albino sighed, moving his leg up as he sat half and half between two steps sideways to make communication easier, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket and lighting it he gently inhaled the smoky substance from the stick and blew it back out, eyes away from Roderich in thought before slowly making their way back to him curiously. It wasn't until a few more inhales and looks that Gilbert finally spoke again. "So... You slept vith people at such a young age... Vas it any good? Did you enjoy not growing attachment to zhem? Honestly... I don't know how you could do z'at. But it just proves you're a slut. You know Roderich... I vas ordered tonight to rape you and lay the full claims over your country. But do you think I could do z'at to you?" With a harsh sigh, he stood up. "I could. Und I vould... Seeing your beautiful face under me enjoying being pounded..." Pushing Roderich against the side of the house, Gilbert stared into his eyes, crimson orbs burning for the dark violets. "Look at me und tell me you vant me Roderich? Tell me ve can be happy? I can let z'e var go... We need eachozher... Don't you think?" Touching a soft brunette lock with his pale hand, Gilbert leaned in and kissed it. "Gott... It's so hard. You don't even have to seduce me und I vant you. But... I can't... I don't vant z'e pain to come vhen you betray me und leave early in z'e morning..." Throwing the butt of his cigarette aside, Gilbert shook his head more and more, a troubled expression over his face.

-

Roderich didn't say anything for a moment, watching the pale Prussian smoke with a casual coolness to his gaze. That same sly smile from before began to creep across his lips, quirking them up at the corners. Words that should have stung only served to amuse him, his face completely unperturbed by Gilbert's harsh questions. He knew that for one who had lived a life of purity that his actions would seem excessive, even cruel, but he felt a clear lack of remorse. Each and every one of his lovers had known exactly what they were getting themselves into; some of them hadn't even been his choice in the first place. 'The world is so much filthier than you know...' he thought, almost pitying the man for his ignorance. "It's exactly as you say- I didn't grow attached" he replied, not bothering to deny anything Gilbert said. As honest as he'd wanted to be, he still couldn't bring himself to admit that his leader's had been the one's to whore him out, forcing him to practice on the people of his own country as to better serve those they needed better political connections with. Unlike Prussia, Roderich didn't have a powerful army; he was forced to use other, more detestable, means of obtaining peace and prosperity. "It's all so easy. Smile, speak softly, play the perfect gentleman and they just fall on your lap..." he continued, meeting Gilbert's bloody gaze without trouble, despite his unhappy thoughts. A chuckle escaped his lips at the man's accusation, shaking his head as the distressed Prussian stood. "Ordered to rape a whore? My, you really are quite the respectable country, aren't you? I'm jealous" he remarked idly, his sarcasm taunting Gilbert even as he was pushed roughly against the house. He only leaned forward when Gilbert took hold of a lock of his hair, "Sorry Prussia, but I'd be the one on top" he replied, smiling innocently. He let his words sink in before wrapping his arms around the Prussian's waist, pulling their bodies together. "Are you sure you'd be able to handle it?" he asked, moving his face uncomfortably close on purpose, pinning Gilbert there. "I've taken countless lovers- do you think you would be any different? Could you honestly say that you'll prove me wrong? That you could make me love you?"

Gilbert merely smirked as the tables got turned around, his arousal getting more out of hand. "You on top? So you'll treat me like you treat zhose idiot men und women humans? Wow, I knew you liked to be proper in front of zhem... But I never thought you vould stoop so low as to do it to your own kind. I don't really care if you feel anything for me or not. As a matter of fact you could treat me like a human und I vouldn't care... Roderich. I vant your attention. I vant you to do z'is to me... I vant to feel your touch." Gripping the Austrian's back, the slightly shorter Prussian stared up at him, crimson pools changing to a dark tone. "I vould let you have all of me und Prussia is I vasn't held back by z'e master. I vould let you fuck me to take avay your political frustrations." Almost purring in his voice of tone, Gilbert looked down and then back up, examining the Austrian's stance. "You're so fucking gorgeous... You may not love me und I may not be able to prove you wrong... But I can give you v'at you lack every time you fuck a human. One hell of a good time."

There was a pause after that, Gilbert staring Roderich up and down one last time before placing a quick kiss to his lips. "I vill meet you in mein room... Fifteen minutes." As if waking up from a long virginous slumber, the Prussian finally felt free as he walked away with a stride.


	3. Seduce Me

Gilbert undressed himself fully up in his room, the bed lay covered in soft pillows and silky crimson red sheets. Only wishing he could have prepared himself more he crawled up onto the king sized bed, draping his naked body in the red sheets. Because his skin and hair so pale, they complimented him perfectly, making him look perfect despite the large scar over his chest. That didn't really matter however since the room was very dim with candles. All he needed now was Roderich to perhaps come in the room. "Fick!" He suddenly swore, remembering he had left the tub water running, in a dash to try and turn it off fast, the naked Prussian fell to the floor and got tangled in the red sheets, only to be met with an embarrassing door opening. "Shit..."

-

Roderich merely smirked, feeling the Prussian getting hard, the excitement clear in his blood-red eyes. 'So he'd have me hold him tightly like all the others..?' he thought, amused. He was sure Gilbert didn't notice it, but the man's words sounded like those of a small child that didn't want to share, wanting to take everything for himself. 'Cute.' "Very well, I'll show you my dirty side~" he replied, his words a velvet murmur of allure. Perhaps he was having too much fun messing with the poor Prussian, but he couldn't help it. After years of having to shelter and deal with him, Roderich was more than ready to return the favor. He may look and act the gentleman in public but he was ready to final let his true self out, a dark gleam in his violet eyes as he released Gilbert's waist. He couldn't wait to see the Prussian's face, looking forward to seeing that arrogant face twist pleasure and his eyes fill with tears.

~About 15 min.-ish~

After grabbing a few things from his house while Gilbert undressed, as well as fixing up his appearance, Roderich finally walked up the stairs and up to the Prussian's room. Stepping inside however, he couldn't help but stop and stare at the sight before him, looking down at the tangled man with a blank look on his face. 'How does one even manage to do that...' he wondered, raising his hand to point at the undoubtedly embarrassed Prussian, "You could conquer an entire army but you can't even get out of bed without getting stuck?" he asked, his voiced thick with blatant disbelief and amusement. Chuckling he shook his head, walking over to the bed. He had to admit, it was a good color for him, even if the idiot couldn't help tripping on his own bed-sheets. "I just hope you do better getting into bed than out of it" he remarked, making fun of him. Taking off his usual glasses and looking over his shoulder at Gilbert with a sly smile, "I'll show you what it means to be loved by a slut~"

-

Gilbert's face completely flushed as he untangled himself; the usual pale skin over his cheeks a dusty rose his tone sounding out stubborn, "I don't vant to be loved by a slut tonight. I vant to be loved by Roderich." Moving into the bedroom's bathroom, Gilbert stopped the water with ease and walked back into the main bedroom and crawling back up on the bed. "I just so happened to have stepped out of z'e bed z'e wrong vay. Get bent und put your glasses back on, you look better vith zhem on plus... I don't vant you to fuck up." Saying no more, Gilbert picked the glasses up and placed them upon the Austrian's face again. His pale lips being licked and moistened with his soft tongue before they met Roderich's neck, sitting on his knees behind him, Gilbert pressed closer, hands moving to massage his shoulders gently as they worked their way to the buttons on his shirt, carefully taking them off with a slow gentle touch. "Bitte... Don't hurt me..." Hoping Roderich wouldn't turn around see the tears that fell down his nervous face, Gilbert let the shirt fall kissing down the center of Roderich's new exposed skin.

-

"As you wish, Gilbert~" Roderich replied, saying the Prussian's name for once rather than his country's name. "Though it'll be your fault if my glasses get dirty." The nervous terror in Gilbert's voice amused him, making him turn his body towards the blushing man with a small smile. Raising a hand he gently caressed the Prussian's face, wiping away his tears with the pad of his thumb, dark violet eyes piercing and calm. It wasn't the first time his partner had quailed at the thought of what they were about to do, a part of him was sure it wouldn't be the last. "Calm down" he murmured, kissing Gilbert's forehead, "You'll be fine." The hand that lay on the side of the Prussian's face gripped it more firmly, his other hand trailing slow, soft touches down the man's spine, resting on one of his legs. Lowering his head, the young Austrian planted his lips firmly against Gilbert's, deciding to go slowly as to not scare the man any more than he already had. Distracting him with the kiss, Roderich moved his body closer until their bare chests touched, one knee resting on the bed as he leaned over the edge. With a firm shove he pushed Gilbert onto his back, getting fully on the bed as he leaned over the Prussian's naked body, his eyes dark. "Just try to relax" he said, a sly smile stretching across his lips. Without explaining, Roderich placed his hands just below Gilbert's waist, moving them lower until the touched the soft flesh of his "vital regions". Massaging the sensitive skin of the Prussian's penis, he bent down until his lips ghosted over it, teasing him as he placed light kisses over it. Glancing up, he watched Prussia's reaction, letting his tongue caress the soft surface. Playing with the tip, he took it into his mouth, fondling the base as he began to move his head.

-

Gilbert flopped back easily when pushed by Roderich, the sound of his real name being said felt weird... And yet at the same time more special. Despite being a nervous wreck, Roderich helped calm him with his soft touches and words. "You'll be fine." Everything happening happened fast in the Prussian's mind after the kiss. From the soft fingertips on his back to the kisses at his dick. Either way it was fucking amazing. A tiny groan came from his lips and a bit of a squee? "Z'is is heaven! I ca-" From the second Roderich's tongue touched the sensitive tip to the moment his mouth took over Gilbert went dead silent, breath after breath coming out of his mouth in a hot pant. Gilbert of course had looked at porn education books before. But never in his life so far had he ever imagined it all feel this way. His stomach fluttered and his head spun. It may not have been a lovey feeling moment... But it was for now something very dear and special to him himself that he would want to keep rather quiet about for the fact of it not being proper to talk about. Being seduced easily and of course being the obvious virgin he was he couldn't help himself as he accidentally came into Roderich's mouth a bit. "F-Fick..." He cursed more at himself. Whole body shaking, Gilbert bit his bottom lip. "Z-z'at's it?"

-

Roderich coughed, almost choking as he swallowed some of the burning liquid, not having expected the blushing Prussian to cum quite that early. "Hah, guess you really are a virgin.." he said, chuckling as he started wiping it off of his lips with his hand. Dark violet eyes ran over Gilbert's panting form, enjoying the flustered look on the man's usually arrogant face. Getting up, Roderich turned and stood, his lips quirking into a impish grin. Little did poor Gilbert know, he was far from finished. Clothing rustled as the young Austrian finished stripping, his body completely bare as his trousers fell to the ground. Sliding closer, Roderich crawled onto the bed in front of Gilbert, his hands resting on the Prussian's pale legs. "Come closer Gil, you'll probably want to lean against me for this" he said, motioning for him to sit up. Taking hold of the man's waist, he slid two fingers into his mouth, drawing them out slowly as to keep the saliva on them. Moving his hand lower, he pressed it lightly against Gilbert's ass, glancing at the man to make sure he'd be alright before slowly working them inside. Flicking his fingers, he thrust them back and forth into the Prussian's soft flesh, stretching and working his body with practiced ease.

-

Gilbert blushed deeply at Roderich when he pulled away with cummed lips. As if it weren't already embarrassing the virgin remark only made Gilbert feel worse. Watching the Austrian get naked brought a warm feeling of curiosity over Gilbert though, as he sat up a bit. Never taking his eyes off the man he thought of as 'beautiful'. The dim light in the room didn't help either. "You're so beautiful Rod."  
Hoping that wasn't heard, Gilbert breathed out and did as he was told, moving closer. Roderich was right. The extra support was more than needed as pale arms moved around the Austrian. "H-hah... It stings a little... But It's o-okay... I'm so scared zhough... I don't think I'll be good enough for you..." Admitting his main fear, Gilbert closed his eyes tightly, gasping as the feeling started to get better for him down below. Stings slowly turning into pleasure it wasn't until tiny moans came out Gilbert felt safe enough to say, "I-I think I'm ready for you liebe..." The soft blush came to his cheeks again, arms more relaxed as they moved up to touch Roderich's face, caressing slowly and moving to pull his chin in for a kiss, pale lips no longer shy to kiss what they wanted most in the world. Gilbert was innocent and almost sweet compared to his arrogant as usual self.

-

Roderich's eyes widened slightly; the almighty Prussia being afraid of not being good enough? The very thought made his smile widen, a warm chuckle escaping his lips. In all his years living with the arrogance of Prussia he had not once heard him say he was bad at anything- let alone not good enough to fit someone else's standards. "Idiot" he murmured, nipping the delicate flesh of Gilbert's ear, his tongue caressing the pale skin afterwards, "no one is good at this their first time. You'll get better at it the more you do it." Listening to the harsh pants become moans of pleasure, Roderich thrust his fingers a few more times before pulling them out. He only need look at Gilbert's face to see that he was ready. Raising his arms he wrapped them around Gilbert's waist, his fingers splayed across the man's back. Pressing their bodies close, he met the Prussian's lips with fervor, his own excitement growing at Gilbert's boldness. Guiding his lover's hips, Roderich slowly pressed the head of his penis against Gilbert, sliding it inside little by little as to let him grow accustomed to the feeling. "Are you alright..?" he asked, his voice breathy.

-

Gilbert puffed out a hot breath of air, "Z'e more...? Y-you mean you'd make love vith me again?" Blushing as he somewhat asked the question he couldn't help but moan as the sensitive skin on his ear was nipped and then licked. When pulled even closer, Gilbert's eyes teared up a but when Roderich kissed him, he was so thankful for that kiss, as it did distract him from the next step that was about to play out. Sure it fucking hurt like a bitch. And sure it felt shitty at first but it seemed that once Roderich pulled his lips away and asked if Gilbert were alright... Everything was alright. The pain lifting as his body grew accustomed. "I-I'm perfect..." He replied after a few moments, breathing hard his face moved forward against Roderich's and he kissed the man's nose sweetly awaiting for him to start moving.

-

"Not again- this time for real" Roderich replied, smiling at the Prussian's flushed face. He'd make sure to remember that look, even if it was only to blackmail or make fun of Gilbert later. Taking the man's pale lips in his own, he bucked his hips once, experimentally, watching Gilbert's reaction with half-lidded eyes. The warmth from their shared space began to make his head spin, the scent and taste of the Prussian all around him, surrounding him. Panting, he leaned into his lover, fingers making small indents in the man's skin. Moans filled the room as he moved, moving gradually faster and harder into Gilbert's body, his skin burning at every touch. It was odd, he usually kept his calm even during sex, but when he saw, tasted, and touched Gilbert's naked body he began to get dizzy, his thoughts a mere blur in his mind. He'd never admit it aloud, but something about it felt different than usual. He just couldn't tell what it was.

-

Gilbert panted and moaned with each thrust, the other's hands on his skin making it burn with good feeling all over. It wasn't until a good spot was hit that he cried the other's name aloud. "Roderich! I-I'm close!" Being sure to say he was going to lose himself before he exploded this time, Gilbert locked his lips onto Roderich's lips, savoring them for every bit they would give to him, he only tore away to moan out again as cum shot out across Roderich's stomach.

-

Roderich thrust a few more times before cumming, his body burning at the sight of Gilbert's face twisted in pleasure. Panting, he sat there with his head resting against the Prussian's shoulder, his arms still wrapped firmly around the man's pale waist. The taste of his lover's skin lingered in his mouth, the feel of Gilbert's body beneath his own still at the forefront of his mind. He hid the look in his eyes by closing them, not wanting Gilbert to see that dark look that lay within. A part of him still wanted the Prussian, longing to lay claim over that naked body. Perhaps it was because they were both countries that he could feel something lingering just beneath his skin, an odd sensation that he didn't get when he held a human. Carefully extracting himself from Gilbert, he stood and looked down at the mess on his stomach. Giving the man a sly glance, the smile from before creeping across his lips. "Care to bathe with me?" he asked, wondering how the flushed Prussian would react.

-

Gilbert stayed in the bed panting as Roderich pulled out and moved away from him. His heart almost sank when Roderich did so, feeling that the moment didn't even last long enough. It wasn't until he saw Roderich's smile that he realized something different in the glint. "A bath? I don't really like zhem... Besides... I might vant to smell like you for a while." Only teasing though, Gilbert got up from the bed, his face turning into a twisted face of pain. "Autch..." He whispered, barely making it to Roderich having to use his shoulder for support to stand. "It hurts Rod... Is z'at normal?" Biting his bottom lip Gilbert just shook his head, sucking it up and walking into the bathroom where the tub of still very hot water sat Gilbert's face flushed remembering he placed rose petals all along it. "Ahem. Just ignore zhose." He mumbled, slowly sinking into the hot water, his skin feeling like it was melting. "Oh...Mein...Gott... Z'is feels amazing..." A huff of air panted out of his pale lips and he looked over at Roderich lovingly, offering his hand to invite him to join in.

-

Roderich chuckled, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. "If we're going to be living together, you're going to start smelling like me everyday" he replied, lips tilted upwards in a sly grin. Not having to explain the secondary meaning to his words, the young Austrian turned and started walking to the bathroom, only pausing when he heard Gilbert cry out in pain. Curious, he glanced at the man behind him with an eyebrow raised, a mixture of surprise and realization dawning upon him as he helped Gilbert stand. "I forgot about that, forgive me" he said, wrapping an arm around the Prussian's waist to steady him, "Since it was your first time, your body isn't accustomed to it. You'll be sore for a little while." Ruffling his hair like one would a child, he tried to comfort Gilbert a bit before walking with him to his bathroom, letting him use his shoulder for support. Giving him a hand as he slid into the steaming water, it took a moment for Roderich to notice the smooth crimson petals floating on its surface. Biting his lip he stifled his laughter with one of his hands, amused that even a childish man like Gilbert could be such a romantic. "You're hopeless" Roderich informed him, leaning down and kissing Gilbert's palm before climbing into the tub across from him.


	4. Betrayal

"Hopeless? Nein... Just vanted to make a memory-" Being cut off as a Prussian soldier walked in on the two, not making a single glance at Roderich he breathed in and out heavily. "V'at is it?" Gilbert asked, alarmed. He could tell the man ran everywhere looking for him. It had to be important. The man simply shook his head, holding back what seemed like tears. Handing Gilbert a parchment he saluted and walked away. Gilbert stared at the parchment. He knew what this was. Tears fell down his now emotionless face and he stood up. "I have to go do something. I'll... Be seeing you later ja?" Crumpling the paper up, Gilbert threw it into the fireplace that was keeping the water warm for so long. He slowly got dressed and sat on the bed when he finished, his hands were shaking horrendously and not much longer after he covered his face the soft sounds of sobbing filled the room, leaving a very depressed aura.

-

Roderich looked at the soldier in surprise, wondering what could possibly be so important that he felt the need to barge into the room so breathlessly. Was the man crying? A worried look worked its way across his face, his dark violet eyes staring at the now-emotionless Prussian, wondering what the letter could possibly contain. "Gilbert...?" he asked, slightly concerned. Uncertain of what exactly was going on, he could only watch as Gilbert absently said something about leaving, walking out of the room after tossing the paper into the fire. Sighing, water ran off his body as he stood, stepping out of the warmth of the bath and out into Gilbert's bedroom. Roderich's eyes widened when he saw the Prussian's shaking form, making his way across the room to stand in from of Gilbert, kneeling in front of him as he peered up at the pale face streaked with tears. "Gil..." he murmured, reaching up to caress the side of his face, eyebrows creased in concern. "What happened?"

-

Gilbert's eyes were bloodshot from the heavy tears as he looked up at Roderich slowly. "Z'e old man Fritz... Found dead..." A soft sob escaped his chest and before he even knew what he was doing, flung himself into the Austrian and held him tight for dear life screaming out into his shoulder. The old man was his best leader and friend whom brought him everything he had including knowledge of the battlefield. He even taught Gilbert how to love as a normal being rather than a country. Half his cocky attitude came from being around Fritz so much as well. When Fritz's father held title things were damp and down all the time always punishing his kid for wanting to be more than just a ruler. Resulting in even killing his lover. Gilbert's heart broke open everything hurt. Never had he held suck a great loss save for the time Hungary refused to be his friend anymore.

-

Roderich's eyes widened in surprise; the old king was dead? 'It makes sense... He was almost eighty...' he thought, wrapping his arms protectively around the sobbing Prussian. Austria knew how much the old man had meant to Gilbert, having seen the two of them together on numerous occasions. It was in those moments only that he had glimpsed the man's true, heart-felt smile. The obvious pain of the man's loss made a small knot build in his chest, causing Roderich to hold Gilbert to him even tighter. "I'm sorry..." he murmured softly, resting his chin on the mess of snowy-white hair.

-

Gilbert didn't reply to Roderich's kindness, feeling to beaten down with the news to even care simply falling limp and numb in Roderich's arms.

~

Over the past few weeks Gilbert kept mostly to himself. It seemed that when Fritz died everything died with him including relationships. The other countries he knew came to be around him unlike before and he simply did nothing but shove them out of the funeral. Not allowing anyone come near the kingdom. It wasn't like they wanted to be around him before anyways when he needed them most in times of war. France was the only one he felt he could trust and go to since Fritz fell in love with one of his people. Just feeling he could connect closer to his missed friend France and he soon hung out constantly together. Sure Gilbert made some time for Roderich but what they had was just mere visits and some tea dates. Nothing that really led to the bedroom. No one could blame him though, the big emotional impact would wash over soon enough as almost a month passed and a cute new county face poked about the kingdom, with Prussia's new leader sorted out a baby country was founded and named Germany. Helping the child get better and always being with him there wasn't anything special about the cute blond haired blue eyed boy but he brought out the best in Gilbert that no one else could. Never forgetting about the man he loved, Gilbert wrote Roderich many letters and sent presents even showing his face around, but he couldn't leave Germany alone either. Especially since he grew up extremely fast after the first war he declared himself as a country. There was also an old face showing around as well and it wasn't a pleasant one either. Russia. Day upon day he would watch Gilbert with hungry eyes, it was scary. Protecting Ludwig (Germany) as a parental act came first to Gilbert's mind, locking him away and never leaving.

Sitting down with time to himself, Gilbert pulled out a paper and began writing to Roderich. Russia hadn't been around lately with his prying eyes so it was fine to leave again.

 _My Dear Roderich,_

 _I'm sorry I have not written to you in so long. Much has happened since I last wrote. I apologize greatly for my lack of communication. I was scared Russia would take offense into my mail and cause problems. Germany has grown a lot in the past while... I can finally leave again to see you. Speaking of seeing you I am going to give you an offer that I hope you'll accept. Please write a good time to come, I'll be without Germany meaning we can start anew with our relationship. I still love you as I always have._

 _-Gilbert_

Finishing his letter, Gilbert blushed and kissed it before sealing it up. He felt deeply bad for leaving Roderich the way he did. As he himself, he should of made more of an effort to be with the man he loved. This time around he would as he had made the plan to propose marriage all thanks to France for giving him the idea.

-

Roderich read the letter slowly, a small, sad smile stretching across his lips. It had been years since he'd seen the face of his once housemate, once lover Prussia. Ever since the death of Frederick the Great, Gilbert had grown extremely reclusive, shutting out everyone and everything around him. He'd heard from France that he was doing well when he'd stopped by to ask, but hadn't heard much more. Sighing, he pressed a hand against his face, as if it would hide the guilt shining in his eyes. Taking up his quill he dabbed it into the ink pot beside it, gently touching it against a piece of parchment.

 _Dear Gilbert,_

 _I am glad to hear your little country is growing up well. Young Italy is doing well himself, he does all his chores happily despite being so small. Perhaps one day you could bring Germany over and introduce them to each other, I'm sure they will both enjoy playing together. It's been a while since we spoke..._

Austria paused, the tip of his quill hovering over the parchment as he considered what to say next. A troubled expression lay on his face, his lips twisting into a frown as he continued writing in his usual clear script.

 _I have something I must tell you as well. I will meet you at noon, everything should be ready by then._

 _Sincerely, Roderich._

-

Sure enough at noon spot on time, Gilbert knocked on Roderich's door. Because it had been so long the now much older adult stood with confidence and a smile over his face. When the door opened he stepped inside and smiled at the cute Italy in a dress. "Vell... Z'at's cute. I hope Roderich is nice to you." Petting the 'girl's' head he sighed and looked around. The place had changed a lot. It almost had a touch of a woman to it. Probably Italy's doing though. He had known great things about her. But then again, it was still odd even for Roderich to allow an underling to decorate with flowers. Gilbert's eyes then landed on one table. It had one particular breed of flower... The one Hungary loved and wore in her hair. Gilbert then grew a knot in his stomach. Those flowers only grew in Hungary. Knowing exactly where to go, Gilbert nervously walked to the piano room where he saw Roderich playing. His beauty just as it was... Just aged a bit. No time took away the love in Gilbert's heart either, walking up behind him he wrapped his arms around the man, kissing his cheek lovingly. "Mein liebe..." He whispered in his ear, one tear falling. It had been much too long.

-

Roderich paused, turning to Gilbert with a strained smile. "Ah, Prussia. It's been too long..." he said, awkwardly returning the affectionate man's embrace. Prying himself free, he closed his beloved piano's case and called for Italy, having him bring out the usual assortment of tea and sweets. Clearing his throat, he glanced at Gilbert with an obviously uncomfortable expression on his face. "I... Know you had something to ask me, but I was hoping you'd listen to what I have to say first..." he started, the nervousness plain in his voice. Eyes darting away again, he stared off to the side, a single hand raised to scratch at the back of his head. Obviously embarrassed, Roderich forced himself to meet Gilbert's ruby-red eyes, his own dark violet hues turning serious. "I'm getting married to Hungary."

-

Gilbert was filled with joy, hardly noticing Roderich's awkwardness. Unable to help himself he reached inside his pocket, pulling the ring out but his joy was quickly reverted into a glass shattering ping as Roderich told him about the engagement. Dropping the ring on the floor, Gilbert stood up and slapped Roderich's face hard. "It vas all true zhen... After all zhese years... You never really cared about me... You didn't even try. After all I've done... Giving you freedom. Giving you peace und quiet avay from my depression... Z'is is v'at I get in return? Nein... It can't be her... Anyvone but her..." Shaking his head back and fourth, Gilbert ran from the room, leaving Roderich and the ring behind.

~

No one heard from Gilbert after the visit. Not even Ludwig. As the days passed on into weeks and weeks it was only until news came about the Russia had declared war and placed a huge wall, spitting Prussia away from the world.

-

Roderich only stood there, his head turned to the side. He stared blankly at the floor, his eyes dark. Pain seared through him, a bright red mark beginning to appear where Gilbert had slapped him, but he didn't say anything against it. A part of him knew he deserved it, having known the Prussian's feelings all along. He'd dreaded that exact moment, having put it off time and time again. Still, he'd had little choice in the matter. Gilbert had at least deserved to know, even though Roderich knew just how much it must have hurt to hear. "I'm sorry" he murmured quietly, unable to meet the eyes he knew were filling with tears. He couldn't think of anything else to say, unable to find an answer to the Prussian's broken words. The ring clattered noisily to the floor, the only noise in the tense silence of the study. Italy poked their head into the room, eyes wide and a tray in their small hands. "Mister-a Austria?" 'she' whispered, having seen Gilbert suddenly burst out of the room. The usually composed Austrian could just barely manage a strained smile, walking over to pet the child's head in a comforting manner, "Don't worry, everything is fine. Why don't you set those down and see if Elizabeta needs any help out in the garden?" Shooing the child away, he forced himself to act normally, knowing it would only concern them if they found out. Only when no one else was in the room did he slump against the wall, sinking onto the floor with quiet "dammit." The ring lay abandoned on the floor, a painful memory of Gilbert's crying face. Staring at it, he reached forward and picked it up, twisting it around in his hand for a moment. 'He was serious... wasn't he..?' he wondered, looking at the ring sadly. Sighing, he stood and slipped it into his pocket. He'd think about that later; he needed time to clear his head.

~

Roderich sat in his study, flicking the keys of his beloved piano experimentally. He hadn't seen or heard from Gilbert since that last visit. A worried frown dominated his features, wondering what could of have possibly happened after that horrible conversation. A few days earlier, Prussia's younger 'brother' Germany had even come to the Austrian's house, desperate to know if Gilbert was staying there, having not seen him for weeks. Afterwards, Roderich had even gone to Gilbert's house himself, trying to get him to step outside, not knowing if the Prussian was even inside. Concern and guilt knotted in his chest, his hands falling silent upon the keys. Sighing, he was just about to close the case when Hungary burst into the room, a worried look on her face. Prussia may have put a lot of distance between them after finding out that she was really a girl, but a part of her still cared for the man. "Roddy! Look at this!" she cried, practically shoving a newspaper in his face. Surprised, he took hold of the parchment in his hands, reading what seemed to be a normal front-page news article. "Russian invasion... Wall around Berlin..- wait, wall?" he asked, brows furrowing as he re-read the passage again, eyes widening in shock. Russia had walled in Berlin!? "I've got to go see Germany!" he exclaimed suddenly, lunging to his feet. Practically running out of his house he started for the strict blonde's house, hoping he could find out what was going on.

Panting, he knocked frantically on Germany's door, hoping that the younger country would allow him inside. "Ludwig? It's me, Roderich! Let me in!"

-

Ludwig opened the door, a puff of smoke leaving his mouth before he threw a cigarette outside on the ground. "Hallo Austria." He nodded knowing what he had come for, there were dark heavy bags under his blue eyes and his hair was unkept. A rare sight for the stiff German. "Have you come to see v'at has been going on?" Kicking the door fully open and stepping out of the way, a T.V. sat in the middle of the floor at the entrance showing a huge wall being constructed. "Z'e man Gilbert protected me from vas actually after him all along... I snuck behind z'e vall... Gilbert's not zhere. He vas taken to Russia far avay from home... I don't see much hope in getting us getting him back right avay... You knew him so vell as do I... He came home und destroyed his whole room... He drank so much bier z'at night und... Vanished... I don't care v'at happened between you und him... But I love my brother more zhan anyvone else. If I find out z'e vone who set Russian onto him, I'll murder zhem. Heed mein vords Austria... If you had something to do vith z'is..." Knowing his threat was well heard, Ludwig suspected Roderich the least. Handing him a paper he nodded at the shorter brunette. "Z'ere's a vorld meeting tomorrow about z'is... Gilbert vill be zhere I think. Russia can't hide him avay forever you know? Do your best to show you care... I've seen Russia's prisoners before... It's not pretty..."

~Meeting~

Gilbert walked alongside Ivan, his hands chained in cuffs. What was once a beautiful pale face was now decorated with bruises and scratches, his naturally messy hair tattered and all over the place. He faced no one as he sat down in the room. Exactly like a puppet being controlled he did everything the Russian said as he was unchained, he winced and held onto his marked wrists, massaging the pain that stung badly before fetching the cold man some coffee. Gilbert was allowed nothing, proof being in his now really skinny face.  
Germany was first to talk, his blue eyes holding back all his pains and sadness for his brother. Voice almost cracking in tears. "Ve're here today to disguess z'e var for East Germany back."  
As Ivan leaned forward leaving Gilbert out of his view he finally looked up, tears felling down his marked face when he saw his brother and then Austria. 'Oh Roderich...' He mouthed over to the man in secret silence. What had he gotten himself into?

-

Roderich stared at the television in horror, his dark violet eyes wide as images of a large wall appeared, blocking out all who would otherwise try to enter. What had happened after Gilbert had left his house..? He made no comment on the German's appearance, knowing he was under far too much stress as it was. "So it's true..?" he asked, his voice a mere whisper of sound. Guilt twisted in a painful knot in his chest, causing a pained look to work its way across his face. 'It's all my fault...' Roderich could only smile sadly at Ludwig's threats, knowing that despite how threatening he seemed, he was just worried about his brother. "You don't have to worry Ludwig, you know I would never hurt Gilbert" he replied, laying a comforting hand on the German's shoulder. He'd known the man since he was just a boy; if worst came to worst, he knew Germany would be there to back him up. "Don't worry, we'll get him back" A dark look gathered in the Austrian's eyes as he spoke, his eyes narrowing at the still playing screen. "I'll make sure we get him back."

~Meeting~

Only Hungary stood beside Austria as they walking into the meeting, having left young Italy at home. The pair were both dressed in their army uniforms, a stern look on their faces. Neither were leaving this meeting without Prussia willingly. Roderich's eyes were dark as he looked at Russia, anger burning deep within his violet gaze. He saw Prussia out of the corner of his eye, but refused to look at him, simply choosing to glare Ivan down as he ordered the pale man around. "Austria and Hungary are ready to join the war" he said as Germany finished, never taking his eyes off of Russia. "We're willing to use force to get East Germany back."

-

Listening to Austria's words made Gilbert's heart sink, even when the war ended and he came back home... What would he have to come back for other than Ludwig? Having his hair tugged rough and sudden breaking his train of thought, Ivan spoke out in a sneer. "All those who oppose mother Russia will one day suffer. You see I have taken liking to this one. I plan to make him one with Russia and anyone who gets in my way will be broken down into her cold ice. You won't be seeing Prussia again after this day. Do you not have anything to say to him? I've been talking about this day to him for a long time now. How he'll be seeing his loved brother and... Pansy of a lover." Glaring at Austria, Russia snickered only trying to get a reaction out of Hungary before removing his hand from Gilbert's hair. Once released Gilbert touched his head in a bit of pain. He was thrown the day before and hit that spot hard on the ground before being raped and abused. "Eastern Germany will no longer be in your control Western Germany. If you can't handle that then just surrender yourself over as well. I'll eventually own you too after all-"  
"Enough." Gilbert muttered out, cutting Ivan off. "Enough b-bitte master... Zhey are all too stupid to talk to so vhy bother vith zhem? Let's just go... Z'e sooner z'is var is over z'e sooner ve can carry on vith more important thi-" CLASP. Gilbert was silenced by the back of the Russian's hand. "Opps... I'm sorry Sunflower, I seem to have forgot to muzzle you."

Ludwig's face cringed as he could only helplessly watch his brother be handled in such a way. "Hang in zhere..." He whispered under his breath only knowing it wouldn't be heard by his brother.

-

Roderich's face darkened, his solemn expression working into a look of cold hatred. Hungary tensed beside him, gripping her uniform so tightly her knuckles turned white, trying desperately to contain her fury. Dark violet eyes glared unflinchingly into lavender pools, the Russian's words only making worse the growing pit of hot anger bubbling in the pit of his stomach. Germany cringed somewhere to his side, the helplessness on his face only serving to strengthen Roderich's loathing of the arctic country all the more. 'He won't get away with this' he thought, grinding his teeth in frustration. The worn and abused look of the once-proud Prussian left an cold, empty pit in his stomach. He should never look like that, like a hollow, broken shell... A sudden movement caught his eye, staring at the pair as Russia suddenly whipped around and back-handed the pleading Prussian, silencing him. Without thinking Roderich slammed both palms down on the table, eyes holding a look of complete and unforgiving murderous rage, causing the others to jump in surprise. Approaching the towering Russian without hesitation, he grabbed him by the collar, grasping the material of his shirt roughly. "How dare you..." he growled, ignoring Hungary's attempts to calm him down.

-

Russia only smiled sinisterly as he was grabbed, snapping his fingers once towards the Prussian holding his reddened face. "How dare I what? Did I hit a nerve Austria? You do know I have full control. You are a weak little wilted flower who can barely afford to keep a wife let alone join in on a pointless war. Your masters may have involved themselves with the war but you have no power other than to nod your head to me and carry on as you watch me make way with a sunflower."  
A weak cold pale hand touched Roderich then, a shaking Prussian staring at him with saddened crimson eyes. He knew then how much he had meant to the Austrian all along. Not needing words, Gilbert roughly pushed Roderich away from Ivan at the same time slipping a paper into his pocket.  
"You see?" The Russian chuckled pulling Gilbert back away from Austria. "He has to obey my rules you cannot touch me without him being there first. I am rather bored now and would like a nice meal to go home to. I will be seeing you all at the field." Nodding, the cold country turned away leaving.  
Gilbert looked back down, pointing to his pocket for Roderich to understand before following him out.

"Z'at bastard!" Ludwig cried out, slamming his own fists down frustratingly. "Ve vill get him back to matter v'at."

~The letter~

 _Dearest Roderich,_

 _I am writing this as fast as I can... I apologize for the sloppy writing but I don't know when Ivan will back. I want you to know what happened. The night you told me you were to be wed I got very drunk and I was going to try to kill myself... With little luck a tall man offered me a warm meal and accepted me into his home. That man was Russia. Being too drunk to know better I was seduced and raped. I know you probably hate me and want nothing to do with saving me... But if you have it in your heart to... Please... To see your face alone will give me the strength to last this war. I'm fighting myself inside these walls hence all the markings you may see on my body at the meeting. Russia is poor itself and Ludwig is doing everything he can from the outside.  
Know I am not mad at you. Rejection was just too much for me to take. My feelings will never falter.  
See you on the other side._

 _-Gilbert Beilschmidt_

-

Roderich could only scoff and turn away, fists clenched at his side. He knew better than to lash out at Russia, but a part of him wanted nothing more than to grab the smiling devil by his throat and rip it out, leaving his corpse there for all to see. The look on Gilbert's face haunted him, far weaker than it should have ever been. The cold touch of his friend's skin bothered him, lingering on his own warm body even long after the pair left the room. Resolution welled up from within him; no matter what, they would win the war. With Hungary at his side, he turned and, with one solemn nod towards Germany, left for his own house. They had work to do, and he couldn't waste time sitting idly by while Prussia suffered. Even if he didn't want to admit it, he had no other choice but to engage in the war, the Russian threat against his own people too great for him to ignore. Elizabeta gripped his hand in a comforting manner, giving him a strained smile. Returning her show of support with his own smile, he could only walk in tense silence as they headed back home, the weight of the secret note in his pocket making each stepper feel like he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. In a way, he guessed he did, though perhaps only a small part...

~Later~

Small droplets of water smeared the hasty writing, sliding down Roderich's face as he closed his eyes, a hand pressed firmly against his face as if it would keep the tears from falling. Guilt made a painful knot in his chest, self-loathing mixing with regret. It was all his fault, after all... He had wondered what had happened to Gilbert during all those weeks he went missing, but he had never guessed that he would be the reason for the sudden war. All because he hadn't had the courage to say the words he knew he should have. 'If only I'd told him sooner... If only I'd told him that my marriage was only a political arrangement, that as close as we are that neither I nor Elizabeta feel anything for each other...' he thought, heaving a heavy sigh. It had always been like that. Roderich would say something and Gilbert would storm off before he even had the chance to finish. A sad smile crept across his lips; he still had the ring in his pocket...


	5. Broken

Gilbert followed Ivan out of the meeting room only to be met with a secure beating for not holding his tongue. He knew the Russian didn't mean to be so harsh... After all, his leaders were even rougher with him. Only stress and alcohol kept Ivan this way. Gilbert tolerated it and did what he was often told to avoid it. The man loved him someplace perhaps... But force wasn't the key to owning him. Smiling to himself, Gilbert knew he had a fighting chance now with Austria on Germany's side. But what made him feel warm enough to smile at a time like this was feeling his ring in Roderich's pocket when he placed the note there.

~

Weeks had passed since that meeting, Germany fighting hard and long to win the war. He would often spend nights at Austria's house. Passing out during the day from exhaustion only to go back again into the field to help his people.  
It had been over a year and the war still raged on until the day came. Piece by piece the wall collapsed and was torn, people running from one side to the other in a huge crowd. They too had been waiting to return home.  
Ludwig stood proud awaiting his brother to return home. But he did not show, the Russian still holding onto him tightly with a huge smile. The Prussian was so weak he looked like a mere child in his arms unconscious. Ivan took one step closer at a time chuckling and humming a dark tune as he walked. "If I couldn't have him in the end... I'd make sure you people couldn't have him either. Last night I must have beaten him up so bad I think I may have broken everything inside of him-"  
"Give him to me now!" Ludwig snapped, growling as he held his arms out for his long lost brother. The Russian simply sighed and kissed Gilbert, showing the only bit of possession affection he might have had deep down. "You want the albino that bad da? Here." Dropping him harshly on the ground Ivan chanted a gentle kol and backed away, watching safe from his own lines.

-

Austria and Hungary were both exhausted, leaving the still growing Italy in charge of most to all of the daily chores while they went off to war. He took care of the house while they were gone, even preparing a bed for Germany to sleep in at night. It had been awkward trying to explain why they had to leave all day,as well as finding out that that the small country was actually, in fact, not a girl at all. Still, it left a smile on Roderich's face. Even though they were all struggling, everyone still helped make the best of the war. Austria knew his people were beginning to face a risk of starvation, his own health deteriorating as it drew on. Some days he could hardly manage to get out of bed, his body feverish and weak- yet still he fought, refusing to accept Russian control. On the day that the wall could finally be taken down, he had to lean on Hungary for support, nearly stumbling as they joined the crowd. Tears streaked everyone's faces, their eyes red as they finally removed the wall that had separated them. It took a while for them to get through the crowd, having to try and shove their way through as politely as possible. Even as tired as he was, Roderich searched for any sign of Germany and his brother- only to freeze when he heard the young German roar something ahead of them. Worried, he ignored Hungary's warnings of pushing himself too hard and pulled her with him to the unseen line that made up the border between the now united Germany and Russia. "Ludwig..?" he asked, coming to a halt beside him. Eyes wide, he rushed to the broken Prussia's side, checking to see if he was alive. He looked like a corpse... Anger shot through him, his dark violet eyes glaring at the sadistic Russian as he retreated, wishing that he'd show just how hurt he really was for once. Looking back down, he placed a gentle hand on Gilbert's shoulder, shaking it slightly to see if he would wake up. "Gilbert...?" he asked, concerned. "We'll need to carry him, I don't think he's going to be able to walk for a while..." he said sadly, feeling the fragile, shattered mass of bones beneath the pale skin.

-

Being shaken by Roderich, Gilbert coughed once. He was still alive and breathing barely. Ludwig wiped the tears away from his own face and bent down to pick his beloved brother up from the cold ground. "He'll be fine... Vorry about yourself Austria. Gilbert is strong, you und I both know z'at he'll be valking in no time." With that said, the tall blond German carefully carried his brother towards home where a special country doctor awaited.

Ludwig was right in the end. Hardly two week passed and the Prussian was finally allowed to walk around. For the first time in a long time the pale man walked out into the warm sunlights. The smell of the flowers were so much more. Freedom. Even though he had a limp to his walk and he was still very weak nothing stopped Gilbert from going to a very familiar home. Austria. He had heard about the state of its people and being very worried he gave a gentle tap to the door. When Italy answered a bright smile crossed his face happy to see the albino doing well. Not saying anything, Gilbert patted the boy's head and walked inside, taking his boots off.  
Wandering the house he knew by heart Gilbert took in the sights very well, memories flooding back to him. Perfect silence was followed as he smiled, the fading scars on his face being itched once. Ludwig always punished him when he would scratch. Being fussed over by so many people at once was so nice after being cold and alone. Then he heard it. The soft music of a piano, moving slowly to Roderich's music room he placed his cane to the side, sitting down at the polished instrument. The music playing through his head just a memory. Lifting up the case carefully, pale fingers slid across the keys. And for the first time Gilbert took the time to actually play a soft gentle piece of music. Personally when he was much more arrogant Gilbert refused to go near the thing in front of anyone. But he wasn't playing for anyone now. No one touched this piano but Roderich. Knowing someone was playing it would bring him out.

-

Austria lay sleeping in his room, the sheets of his bed wrapped carefully around him. He hardly moved, his face holding a lingering look of pain as he slept, his breath light but shallow. He hadn't moved much since the war ended, instead taking the time to recover from his economic decline. Exhaustion showed clearly on his face, dark circles visible beneath his eyes despite having stayed in bed for nearly all of the two weeks that had passed since Germany had carried Prussia home. Italy had made sure to bring him food and water, but more or less left him alone, Hungary dropping by from time to time to check in on him, having to sort out the lingering problems in her own country. Alone, Roderich had dreamt the hours away, his mind looking back on his past. It was no surprise that, when the sound of a playing piano started up, he only assumed it to be a memory of something he played long ago. Blinking slowly, his eyebrows creased as the smooth noted filled the air. Wait, that didn't sound like him... Confused, and more than a little curious, Roderich carefully tossed the sheets back and stood, biting his lips against the wave of dizziness that washed over him. A downside to sleeping for days at a time. Wearing nothing more than his usual over-shirt and trousers as his sleepwear, he walked down the stairs and towards his study, following the music with a small smile. Whoever was playing did so rather well, the sound somehow familiar despite his sleep-addled brain. Cracking open the door that lead to his usual music room he peeked inside, leaning against the door's frame for support. A warm feeling built in his chest when he saw a familiar mess of snowy-white hair, his small smile stretching to a heartfelt grin. Not sure if he was still dreaming or not, he walked quietly over to the playing Prussian, enjoying the sound of music filling his house once more. Standing directly behind Gilbert, he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around the man's shoulder's, resting his face in the crook of the Prussian's neck. There was so many emotions running through him at that one moment, but he couldn't decide which one he felt more. Tears fell from the usually composed Austrian's eyes, cold against his skin. "I missed you..."

-

Gilbert felt the fragile arms of the Austrian wrap around him. He only stopped playing the musical piece to listen to the soft words Roderich spoke out. A small smile tugged at his face and Gilbert turned around, pulling Roderich onto his lap and into a tight embrace, kissing his face all over the Prussian's own tears fell upon Roderich's face. "I missed you too..." He murmured, noticing how weak his lover was. "V'at happened to you dummkoph? Did you really vorry yourself into depression?" Kissing the brunette's forehead, Gilbert started chuckling. "Vasn't it a tall handsome brunette z'at played piano whom called me a stupid fool long ago? Didn't he also say I couldn't change him?" Another kiss was given to the Austrian only on the lips and much sweeter than ever before. Despite being weak himself, Gilbert helped Roderich up to his feet and walked him back to his bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind them he placed his lover on the bed, moving to lay beside him and cuddle warmly. "If you're hungry I can make you food...?"

-

"You are a stupid fool" Roderich replied, giving the scarred Prussian a halfhearted glare as he continued scolding him, "If you didn't insist on doing everything on your own I wouldn't have to work myself sick in order to save you." Returning the embrace with surprising strength, Roderich held the still-injured man tight against his exhausted body, still finding it hard to believe that they had won the war- that Gilbert was really there. An entire year, and yet it had felt like centuries since he'd been able to see him. Well, in a way, it was actually quite true. How long had it been since they'd spoken honestly to each other? Since they'd been more than just two neighboring countries? A relieved smile worked its way across his face, happy just to be able to do something as simple as argue with each other. Raising his hands to Gilbert's face, he held it there with gentle ferocity as he captured the Prussian's lips in his own, expressing with one simple action more than words ever could. 'I love you.' "I never changed...I just stopped running away" he whispered quietly, resting his forehead against Gilbert's, "and for your information I happen to still be a tall, handsome brunette that plays piano." Moving away, he had to lean against Gilbert in order to walk, still weak from his near economic collapse. It had been hard, but with the victory in Berlin he hoped that his country could finally get back on its feet. Perhaps then he'd begin to get better too. Roderich's face twisted in pain when they had to walk up the stairs, his breath coming out in short, harsh pants when they finally reached the top of the staircase. Without a word of objection, he fell with a muffled "thump" onto the soft mattress of his bed, sprawled out in a careless manner. Closing his eyes he merely shook his head, turning to pull Gilbert closer as he spooned around him, arms wrapped around his lower torso. "No, I just... Want to lay like this for a little while..." he murmured sleepily, looking more relaxed than he'd been in years.

-

Gilbert smiled at his lover gently. Some things never change. "Rod... All my time avay... Zhere vasn't a day I didn't stop to think about you und vorry..." Turning around in the spooning embrace, Gilbert gently touched Roderich's exhausted face with his fingertips, watching him. In all honesty Gilbert found it hard to sleep at night because of the Russian always on the prowl. Being in the quiet places he called his home was just too strange. Moving his face up a bit, he pressed a kiss to Roderich's lips, his hands moving up and down his back before remembering something. Reaching into the brunette's pocket he smiled, pulling the ring out. Hoping to keep the Austrian distracted with the kiss he gently placed the ring over his third finger on the left hand. Sure Hungary's ring was there... But it didn't have much meaning now that their relationship was known a bit better. Despite homosexuality being taboo Gilbert thought of it as... A thrill. Having someone he loved was a big benefit to it all.  
Pulling his face away from the kiss Gilbert softly chuckled again, "I've gotten better at fucking. Anytime you vant a taste I'll be your slut." Only teasing Gilbert moved up on top of Roderich, staring down. "Perhaps vhen you feel better I'll give you a tour of z'e Prussian empire." Winking, Gilbert moved off of Roderich to give him a break from the teasing. There was quite a bit of excitement as it was... He didn't need the extra on top. Moving back into the spot beside him, Gilbert moved to snuggle his face into Roderich's chest. Breathing in and taking in the scent. That didn't change either.

-

Opening a single tired eye to look up at the snowy-haired Prussia, Roderich gave him a small smile, leaning into Gilbert's touch with a soft sigh of contentment. "I've always worried... A fool like you is always sure to get in trouble. If I don't keep a close eye on you you might just disappear again..." he murmured, arms tightening around his lover's waist ever so slightly, protectively. 'I never want to let you go again' it said, clearer than if he'd said them aloud. He was too tired to notice Gilbert's hand in his pocket, his mind filled entirely with the feeling of the Prussian's lips against his own, making his chest tingle with warmth. It was only when he moved to run his hands through Gilbert's hair that he stopped and looked down at his fingers curiously, giving the ring an uncomfortable look. Shaking his head, he laid a small kiss on the ring before removing it, turning to look back at Gilbert with a kind of drowsy seriousness. "I've been married too many times" he whispered, stroking his lover's face gently, "this is the one relationship I don't want to ruin." A small smirk crept across the Austrian's lips as he leaned forward, running his fingers down the Prussian's jaw slowly, his lips hovering over the man's ear. "When I get better I'll show you something exciting. I think you'll enjoy my little surprise...~" he breathed, teasing him back. Making sure to get another small jab in, he finally laid bad against his pillows, eyes closing as his arms held Gilbert against him, one hand on his waist the other laying carelessly across the Prussian's back. He didn't know exactly what the poor man had gone through in Russia's custody, but he was determined to protect Gilbert from whatever haunted him, holding him close as if it would chase all the albino's nightmares away.

-

Gilbert frowned a little when Roderich removed the ring but didn't say anything when he explained why. It was fine to Gilbert... Sure Roderich was married back and fourth a lot... But who said they had to marry to show off a ring that proved his want and love? Oh well. It didn't matter in the long run anyways. Being in the warm embrace of his lover, Gilbert actually managed to fall asleep, Roderich warding away the nightmares that filled the Prussian's mind.  
When Gilbert woke up he felt refreshed and even better than before. His vision more clear and his facial scars hardly noticeable. Looking over, he saw Roderich still resting cutely. Even though he was more dominant, Gilbert could tell that there were times... He just wasn't. Unable to lay anymore, Gilbert carefully moved away from Roderich and went to the washroom, fixing himself up he snuck down to the kitchen afterwards to fix up something good. It wasn't long before the house smelled of fresh chocolate, giving some to the cute Ita-chan Gilbert waited. Wondering when Roderich would wake up. Lost in thoughts and day dreams, the Prussian sucked the tip of his thumb and leaned against the counter, chocolate smudged over his face. Italy didn't say anything as he placed a beer beside him and happily skipped away to do some cleaning chores.

-

Roderich felt himself surrounded by warmth, the scent of a certain snowy-haired albino helping him relax as he slipped into a deep, dreamless slumber. He had never been more comfortable than he was then, buried beneath a mess of blankets wrapped unevenly around him and the Prussian in his arms, forming a kind of make-shift nest. He didn't even stir when Gilbert woke up, too tired to even bother. Mumbling something incoherently, the exhausted Austrian merely turned his head and fell back asleep. It wasn't until the strong scent of chocolate filled the air that Roderich's dark violet eyes slowly blinked open, squinting as he tried to figure out why his room smelled so strange. Sitting up, he slipped his glasses back onto their respective place on his face before standing and making his way downstairs, wondering what had caused his house to smell like a bakery. "Gil..?" he asked sleepily, wandering into the kitchen with significantly more energy than yesterday or the days before. It had been a long time since he'd slept that well. "Ah, good morning Italy." Looking around he spotted Gilbert leaning casually against his kitchen counter, pale skin streaked with numerous dots and lines of the sweet substance. "You have a little something on your face. Here" he commented, walking towards him with an amused smile. Suddenly leaning forward without warning, Roderich stepped forward and ran his tongue slowly across the Prussian's jaw, smirking as he pulled away. "Got it."

-

Gilbert blushed deeply when his train of thought was broken by Roderich's tongue moving along his jaw. Turning to face him a soft smile grew across his face. "Vell... I hope it tastes better on me..." Chuckling, he picked one of the sweets up and placed it at Roderich's lips, feeding it to him. "I thought you might like some tlc from z'e awesome me." Gilbert's smile turned into a smirk and he took Roderich's hand, leading him away to the piano room. "Zhere's something I must tell you, it's important okay?" Giving the Austrian's lips a quick kiss, Gilbert sighed out, his face turning serious again. "Vorld war two is happening right now... Und things aren't looking best for z'e veaker parts of Germany... Meaning me. I know z's vill be a lot to take in so soon but Roderich... I need you to look after Ludwig for me vhile I'm gone... He may seem like he has himself together... But he can hardly do z'e laundry by himself... Vhen z's var ends he'll be all alone." Finishing there, Gilbert wrapped his arms around Roderich, half expecting the brunette to hate on him for the bad news of needing to leave.

-

Roderich knew something was wrong as soon as Gilbert led him away, something about the Prussian seeming off from his usual self. "Gil..?" he questioned, wondering what could have happened during the time he had fallen asleep and when he had woken up. What was all this sudden talk of war? Had they not just finished fighting..? "I don't understand... You look way better than you did before" he started, his voice trailing off as a sudden realization hit him. Reaching out, he gripped Gilbert's shit firmly in his hands, looking as if he wanted nothing more than to shake him. "You're not... Seriously considering giving Ludwig all your land are you!? You know what will happen if you do!" he demanded, concern and anger twisting his features into a look of confliction. He'd always cared for Germany, but to... He couldn't bring himself to say the words "I promise". He knew Gilbert was depending on him, but at the same time he refused to accept his easy dismissal of what was the equivalent to death for a country.

-

Gilbert smiled sadly at Roderich, his had moving behind his head as he pulled him into a kiss. "Promise you'll take care of him... It's not like I'll be gone forever ja? Countries rarely dissolve anyvays kesese! I lived through Russia! I can live through z'is too. Und vhen I return Roderich. I vill marry you und I vill make sure our marriage stays strong. Only I can break your curse." The Prussian's smile turned into a smirk as he pulled Roderich into his arms. "I leave tomorrow. Ludwig vill be here early in z'e morning okay?"

-

Gritting his teeth, Roderich could only nod at Gilbert's words, tears welling up in his dark violet eyes. He knew what Gilbert was saying was true, but the idea of the proud Prussian disappearing- even if only for a few years- still left a strong burning feeling in his chest, knotting painfully as he returned his lover's kiss. Every country had a point in their life that they had to withdraw and recover; it was normal, just a simple survival tactic that they had had to use in order to survive the long, stressful years of being a living country... He'd heard of it happening, but to see it in person was so much harder to bear. Wrapping his arms firmly around Gilbert, he buried his face into the Prussian's shoulder, just barely managing to whisper a quiet "Ok... I promise."

-

Gilbert smiled sadly and pecked Roderich's cheek, rubbing up and down his back softly. He was silent for a few moments, in a happy thought before he pushed Roderich back a bit and placed his pale lips atop the other's gently, his hands gripping his shirt tightly in want. It had been so long since Gilbert had the affection of another. It was nice. Pulling away he sighed, looking down. "H-Hey... Rod? I know z'is might be too much to ask for... But can ve go out swimming? I know a place z'at's really private so ve von't be bugged..." Giving cute crimson puppy eyes, Gilbert knew he'd win this one.

-

"Ja... We can go swimming" Roderich replied with a small smile, his eyes slightly red from his quiet tears. Warmth spread through him as their lips touched, making him painfully aware of the cold pit forming in his stomach. 'You know I'd do anything for you...' he thought, fully aware that Gilbert was using his usual puppy-dog look only because he knew it worked. Ignoring the feelings welling up within him, Roderich withheld the sobs that wanted to claw their way past his lips, knowing that even if the Prussian really did come back that he'd never be the same again, having lost a part of himself by dissipating and merging his country. "Just don't blame me if you catch a cold, fool."

-

Looking at his lover, Gilbert leaned in and kissed away his tears one by one a thumb caressing his cheek at the same time. "Mein liebling. Mein everything. I vill bring lots of varm clothing so I von't get sick." Taking Roderich's hand and kissing it, Gilbert led him upstairs instead, lifting him up onto the bed and pushing him back, his lips feverishly kissing all over his neck, chest and face. Hands working slowly to take off the clothing on the brunette. His skin was still perfect and smooth never tarnished. Kissing it gently, Gilbert backed off for a minute pause before removing his clothing slowly. His body held many scars from when he was with Russia. They would be staying for life. "Sorry... I can't be perfect still." He sadly smiled, pale chest beating hard with a nervous aura.

-

A small chuckle escaped the Austrian's lips as he imagined Gilbert trying to swim in a heavy winter parka, his smile warm as his dark violet eyes looked back at his lover's sweet, ruby-red ones. Shaking his head, he didn't question it when he was guided upstairs, knowing full well what it was that the Prussian wanted. A feeling of longing began to worm its way into his chest, the thought of holding his lover's body once more after so many years almost overwhelming. Excitement shone in his eyes as he was pushed back, enjoying Gilbert's rare show of dominance. Meeting his lips with equal fervor, he helped strip them both of their clothes, running his hands over the Prussian's pale skin. Unlike Gilbert, however, he didn't quail at the sight of the scars, only giving them a sad look. Moving forward, he pulled Gilbert closer, lowering his head to shower the man's marred skin in soft, loving kisses. Making his way up Gilbert's body until he finally reached what was the man's first scar, as well as the mark of his first real victory. "You've never been perfect" he murmured gently, smiling slyly against the man's skin, "but that's why I love you. From your obnoxious laugh to these scars, I love them all."


	6. Remorse

Hearing those words come out of Roderich made Gilbert's heart sore up in the sir. Collecting his lover in an even tighter embrace he flopped down on top of him, kissing up and down his neck slowly, hand moving down to feel his length. Feeling confident in himself through years of different experience, Gilbert slowly massaged it up and down. "V'at vould you like mein liebling?"

" _Touch me_ " Roderich breathed into Gilbert's ear with a desperate, longing voice, a light blush spreading across his face at the contact. "Touch me everywhere. I want to be covered in the feel of you." For once he let the snowy-haired Prussian top, obviously enjoying the feel of his touch. Moaning, he watched his lover with lustful violet eyes, his length hardening at Gilert's careful, erotic touch.

Hearing the brunettes soft voice in his ear made Gilbert hard, his stroking soon stopping as he began sucking on his own and Roderich's fingers gently, getting them covered with his saliva he pulled them out of his mouth and rubbed Roderich's entrance gently. Because of his hardships with Russia, he made sure to be over gentle with each movement he made. Still sucking on his lover's fingers Gilbert slowly pushed his own inside, stretching and stroking. He only pulled away and stopped sucking the fingers when he saw Roderich's face blush filled and enjoying it. Moving over Roderich Gilbert lay some of his weight down, lips lovingly locking with Roderich's as he slowly pushed inside moaning.

The room soon filled with moans, Roderich's body twisted and arched beneath Gilbert as he moved. It was such a strange feeling. Gilbert's skin rubbing again his own, their sweat and breath mixing together as they closed the space between them. He'd missed it- though perhaps not to the extent of what they were doing then. Warmth spread through his chest as they touched, making his body burn all the more. Every part of him urged him to press closer, to wrap around Gilbert and let his lips roam that pale skin. _"G-gil.."_ Roderich panted, returning the Prussian's kiss with fervor.

" _Rod.._." Gilbert panted in return, his whole body burning with the lust and passion he felt for the other. Being as close as he could be, the Prussian's lips moved down from Roderich's lips to his chin and neck. Hands moving he gripped Roderich's and started to push in and out faster, soon slamming at all his sensitive spots, making sure that he was the first whom would cum. "I-Ich Liebe dick..."

 _"Ich... liebe... dich auch..."_ Roderich moaned out, his voice breathy and hoarse. His body shivered as Gilbert pounded into him, sending waves of pleasure coursing through him, causing him to arch against the Prussian's body. Closing his fingers around his lover's, he squeezed his eyes shut and cried out in ecstasy, unable to hold it back any longer. Muscles tensing, he came onto both their stomachs, leaving a layer of sticky sweat and semen between them. _"Gil..."_

It didn't take long for Gilbert to cum after Roderich, panting hard and shivering with pleasure he collapsed beside his lover after pulling out carefully. "M-Mein gott I'll miss z'at vhen I leave... You know... I don't think I could live vithout having sex... No vonder vhy you did it non stop vhen you lost your virginity..." Speaking his idiotic mind as always, Gilbert rolled onto his side and kissed Roderich deeply, smirking as he tried to keep him from commenting back. When he pulled away he laughed for a few seconds. "Gott z'at made me so jealous... Oh! Roderich... May I ask something serious? V'at is it like fucking a woman?"

Roderich could only glare halfheartedly at the smirking Prussian as he was silenced with a kiss, his hands sneaking up and pulling roughly on Gilbert's hair in revenge. "Non-stop? Maybe to a sex-craved virgin like you were, but I assure you I was quite lax about my carnal pleasures. If you'd not been so shy and chaste, perhaps I'd have shown you exactly what _'non-stop'_ was when we were younger" he retorted with a sly smile, leaning closer to steal another quick kiss "or perhaps I will when you come back...~" Amusement shone in the Austrian's dark violet eyes, his smile only widening at Gilbert's question. "A woman?" he asked, chuckling. Sometimes he felt like he was an old man telling secrets to a teenager still hitting puberty, letting them in on things that sounded much more impressive than they were. "You're serious..?" he asked, shaking his head, "they're... soft, I guess. Warm, soft, and they make a lot of noise. And before you ask- no, I do _not_ know because of my marriage to Hungary."

Pouting Gilbert rolled his eyes and rubbed his head where his hair was tugged, smiling as another kiss was stolen away by a thief he loved. "So you didn't bone her? I see... Vell... Z'at is interesting. You haven't fully preformed your vows from z'e vedding. Doomed marriage... She must feel bad about it. She only never stopped talking about you." Softly touching up Roderich's side Gilbert sighed softly. "I get so jealous of all zhose who come near you... Vhen I return home I promise ve vill have sex until z'e bed sheets need changed." Winking and sticking his tongue out teasingly Gilbert lovingly kissed Roderich before a soft gentle knock came to the door.

Roderich could only scoff, pretending to be insulted by Gilbert's insinuation that all his marriages were doomed to failure. Hands creeping up to caress the Prussian's face, Roderich rested his forehead gently against his lover's, a smile creeping back across his face. "I'll show you something _fun_ when you get back..~" he murmured, their little moment being disrupted by a knock on the door. " _Ja?_ Who is it?" he called, wondering if Italy needed help with something again.

Gilbert swallowed hard, quickly getting his pants back on as Ludwig opened the door. Standing there for a few moments he backed out closing it behind him. "Vell z'at vas awkward..." Gilbert grumbled, knowing it was soon time for him to leave and sign papers. "I really hope he'll be okay vith me leaving... He's been taking it so hard." There was a short sadness in Gilbert's voice as he sat up, slowly putting his clothes on.

Roderich merely raised an eyebrow at the German, smirking as he immediately retreated from the room. "You're going to have to explain that later, aren't you?" he asked, laughing at Gilbert's face. Shaking his head, he stood and walked towards the changing Prussian, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. "Just make sure you come back..." he murmured, pressing his face against the back of Gilbert's neck, "I'll take care of him while you're gone. Just make sure you come home, _ja..?_ "

"I promise I vill. It'll be z'e last promise you'll have to make to me until ve can be happy und married..." Finishing, Gilbert turned to his lover and kissed his forehead sweetly. "I'm so happy to have you in mein heart... I vill be back before you know it..." Giving Roderich one last long loving kiss the Prussia turned to the door and swallowed hard with a heavy heart as he walked out on the man he loved.

"Goodbye... _Prussia..._ " Roderich murmured behind him, tears he had long held back finally falling unrestrained. No matter how many times he heard it, it was just too painful to hope that Gilbert would come back and everything would return to normal...

~Later~

Roderich had showered and redressed, swapping out his usual bedsheets for Italy to clean later- he'd skipped explaining why they had gotten so dirty so quickly, merely brushing it off as part of being bedridden for so long with ill-health- and gotten prepared to make room for Germany. Already having a guestroom, he didn't worry particularly about where Ludwig was going to sleep, deciding to just let him decide for himself when he got there. Well, when he got _back_ there, that was. He had yet to see the man since he'd accidentally walked in on Gilbert and himself naked.

Ludwig wiped away his tears before entering Roderich's house. It was so hard for him to accept his brother's land piece by piece save for what little he decided to keep. Once inside the house he was shown around by an excited Italy (his only friend) for he didn't completely know the layout as his brother would by heart. Looking over at the piano in Roderich's study he placed a single touch to it. Gilbert would always tell him how beautiful Roderich played. Unsmiling, Ludwig continued looking blankly at the spare room and Roderich's room, a tight knot in his stomach growing. He had never been married before just in an axis unconnected to the tour guide. Once Italy got the picture that Ludwig needed time to himself in all understanding, he began to break, tears falling out of his blue hues and patting on the floor. He refused to leave the bathroom for hours, only leaving when the tears could no longer fall. His hair was in a messy state as he pulled out a paper from his pocket, walking up to where Roderich would be he gently tapped on the door frame. "H-Hallo Austria. Ve have met before but I am going to introduce meinself as a new. I am Germany, you can call me by name...Ludwig. I hold out mein hand und velcome you." Not knowing how to be anything but formal, Ludwig put his hand out with the paper offering it to Roderich. It was a marriage certificate that needed signed.

Roderich sat in his study, tuning the keys of his piano. They didn't really need it, as he always kept his piano in pristine condition, but it helped calm his nerves better than anything else he could thing of at that moment. Hearing the knock at the door, he glanced up to see a distraught Germany, the man's eyes still red from tears. Making no comment of the German's unkempt appearance, he could only stand and turn to face him, his dark violet eyes back to their usual unreadable coolness. " _Gutten abend, Duetchland._ As you know, I am Austria" he greeted, bowing slightly. "You may call me Roderich." Straightening, he gave the awkward blonde a small, friendly smile. "I hope you can feel at home here, Ludwig. If you need anything don't hesitate to call upon me or Italy." Reaching forward he carefully took the document from his offered hand, he scanned over it quickly before grabbing a pen off of his desk, touching it to the paper with only the slightest moment of hesitation, signing his name in clear, fluent old-fashion script.

Ludwig watched Roderich sign the paper, his eyes examining the signature. It was perfect from the R to the H. "You have nice handwriting..." He complimented, feeling a bit less awkward with Roderich's introduction. "Danke... I appreciate your kindness und I appreciate you allowing me to live here vith you." Ludwig sighed out not being overly good at small talk but he managed to relax his tensed shoulders just a bit as Italy came in, placing a tea tray for the both of them on a side table, once he left Ludwig looked towards it and waited for permission to take a cup, instead averting his eyes to the piano. "I hear you play it vell... I vas taught how to play growing up as a mere nothing... Italy sleeps to it often vhen he has bad nights through z'e phone..." Trailing off, Ludwig noted the look on Roderich's face. He knew that he was involved with Gilbert. "It hurts..." He whispered slowly, leaning in to kiss the Austrian man, tears falling down his face again as he moved beside him on the piano bench. Ludwig didn't know what came over him at that moment, other than wanting to be closer to someone... Especially someone who knew his brother so well. The kiss only lasted a few seconds before Ludwig pulled away and looked down at his hands ashamed, tears patting on them. "Fick... I thought zhey vould stop by now..." Sniffling, he used his uniform sleeve to hide away his emotion filled face.

Roderich could only smile, handing back the paper now that it was fully signed. "I've played it all my life... It was the only thing a weak country like myself was good at" he replied, turning to look at the piano himself. "I was never one for war. An aristocrat like myself was useless in such situations either way..." He listened to Ludwig's words with a small tinge of amusement, wondering if Gilbert had taught him how to play, especially after listening to him play it so many times during their childhood. He was about to say something more when the German's lips suddenly met with his own, his eyes widening in surprise. "Ludwig..?" he asked, an eyebrow raised. Resting a hand on the blonde's shoulder, he gave it a sympathetic squeeze, reaching forward to wrap his arms around the usually intimidating German. "It's alright" he murmured, rubbing his back as he spoke, "I miss him too..."

-

"I know..." Ludwig murmured as he leaned to the side against Roderich. "I'm sorry I kissed you... I vanted to know v'at it vould be like... To kiss lips my bruder loved so much... Roderich... I don't know if Gilbert told you z'is..." Moving away, Ludwig wiped his face clean from tears again and took a shaky breath in and out. "Gilbert isn't coming back... I fought against it so hard... But it vasn't enough in z'e end. He's going to dissolve. I-I can't... H-he's z'e only vone I have Roderich... I can't be alone. I may have Italy but... He's not Germanic und he can't... No vone can replace him... You nor I... He made me promise to marry you so you'd be safe from harm as vell as I. Valking in on you two hurt me so much. I love my bruder. No vone knows..." Ludwig spoke slowly, his words cracking with tears again as his hand touched the piano's keys gently, only pressing down on one to listen to the soft beautiful sounding chord. "I vanted to protect him und I couldn't. If I could I vould kill myself..." Roderich's warm touch was nice, unable to help himself through insecurity he had since a child secretly, Ludwig clung onto Roderich tightly, his hands digging into his shirt tightly. "Roderich... You vere all my bruder ever loved... Please let me take care of v'at he loved most in z'is vorld... Bitte..."

-

Roderich could only sit there, silent. Ludwig's words caused a sharp pain to build in his chest, the cold pit in his stomach chilling him. Feeling cold, he turned away and looked at his beloved piano, its keys shining back at him as if just waiting for him to weave another melody together with their clear ivory notes. 'What if he doesn't come back..?' The thought stuck in his mind, haunting him despite his best attempts to push it away. He knew there was always that possibility, one where Prussia would dissolve completely, disappearing from the world with not so much as a trace of its former self left behind. A sad smile stretched across his lips, Roderich's dark violet eyes glancing at the forlorn man quietly. He still held onto him, arms wrapped around his shaking body. "You said you played for Italy, yes..?" he asked suddenly, giving the blonde a sly smile, "Why not let me play for you?" Carefully detaching himself from the clingy blonde just enough that he'd be able to play, Roderich stretched his hands over the keys, pausing for a moment to close his eyes before falling into the music.

-

Ludwig moved over so Roderich could play, the sound of the gentle music filling his mind in a mixture of many emotions, some he never felt before. No one had ever been so kind as to do something like this for him before. No wonder why Gilbert loved Roderich so much. Unhiding his face from his sleeve, Ludwig scooted to the side more and placed his head down on Roderich's lap like a child would. The movement of Roderich's leg over the tunes was relaxing, Ludwig was completely at ease. The German rarely showed this to anyone due to weakness. But he had no worries here. As the tune slowly came to an end Ludwig sat up and rubbed his tear-stained face clean. "Danke Roderich." He whispered as if scared to disrupt the calm state. "Gilbert vould vant us happy..." Pausing in thought for a second, Ludwig kissed Roderich's cheek sweetly. "I can see vhy he loved you. I could never give you z'e love he did... But for now... Can ve try und be a... Duet?" That said Ludwig placed his hands on the piano keys and straightened up, playing a lone tune curious to see what would happen.

-

Roderich could only smile as he played, chuckling to himself at the German's cute, childish actions. He wasn't all that bad looking, he thought to himself, looking him over as the blonde lay on his lap. It wasn't the first time he'd been married to another country- especially one who's personification was a male like himself, having been married countless times during his long life as Austria- but it was the first time he'd been married as a promise to another, the very though of it strange in his mind. 'I want to mess with him..' he thought, covering the sly look in his eyes with a broad smile. Gilbert had told him to take care of his brother Germany, and Roderich would keep that promise, but he hadn't mentioned anything about having to treat the man like he did the Prussian...Keeping up his usual gentleman act, he could only return Ludwig's thanks as his song ended, more than happy to join in with the second half of the German's duet. 'Time to have a little fun...' Letting his fingers dance smoothly over the ivory keys, he waited a few minutes before casually reaching his fingers towards Ludwig's, making them collide as if purely on accident whilst playing. Not reacting, he closed his eyes and played, already planning multiples things he could do to utterly unnerve and embarrass the all too innocent man beside him.

-

Ludwig played as best he could, trying to impress the man beside him in hopes he'd be more welcome. Soft fingers collided with his own and caused him to jumble up a few keys. 'Fuck.' He thought to himself thinking he made the mistake. A soft blush danced over his face as he messed up again and again. When the song ended he was more than happy about it. "Vell... I guess I vould be rusty after a year of not being able to play..." A quiet chuckle came out but his face turned serious with disappointment in feeling like a failure. Roderich was the best pianist... Of course someone like Ludwig would mess up. Standing, he gave a small bow. "Forgive me if I'm rude but I think I'll... Leave you be for z'e time being..." Turning, Ludwig moved up the stairs and into the spare room he was shown. It was nice and spacious and smelled of sweet spices. His things were in there too waiting to be unpacked. Deciding not to for he didn't know what to do with them yet, Ludwig pulled out his casual clothing and took off his uniform. Laying back on the bed he sighed dressed in a tight black tank and sweat pants, closing his eyes to try and sleep without thinking of the things Gilbert could be going through.

-

Roderich had to smother the amusement in his smile as they played, enjoying the Ludwig's nervous blush a little too much. "It's alright" he replied, smiling warmly, "you are doing well. You just need a bit of practice." He felt a little bad for making the blonde think it was all his fault that he was messing up but couldn't help himself, shamelessly having fun messing with the German that was his husband- wife?- to be. He never did understand the difference, they were all the same either way to a country like himself. Letting his fingers rest upon the final note in the keys he watched as Ludwig retreated from his study, a sly grin stretching across his lips. Gilbert really shouldn't have trusted him with his younger brother.

~A few hours later~

Night fell and plunged the house in darkness, the rest of the house having already gone to bed. Roderich reached forward and switched the lights off in his study, having made sure to waste a few hours filling out papers before executing his plan. Stepping quietly up the staircase to the second floor, he turned towards the guestroom instead of his own. Opening the door, he made as little noise as possible as he walked inside, purposely ignoring the shadowed form of Ludwig laying in the bed in front of him. Setting his glasses on the nightstand closest to him, he began casually stripping out of his clothes, paying no heed to the other person in the room. Dressed only in a pair of loose trousers, Roderich folded the blankets back, slipping into the bed as carelessly as one would their own bed.

-

Ludwig grumbled slightly still in a daze of sleep as he felt the pressure of a body lay beside him, slowly he felt back and felt the smooth skin. Blue eyes widening in realization he jumped up falling down on the floor with a thud. "V'at z'e hell?! I swear to z'e gods if z'at is you Italy it's not funny! I vill chop you up und fry you for breakfast! Austria could come in und try to invade me! V'at if he saw you here huh?! Not good on me! I don't care if you're scared of z'e dark!" Throwing the blankets up in a rough force and turning a lamp light on it was only then Ludwig realized who was really there. Swallowing hard he raised his hands in a small submission. "H-Hallo Roderich..." Ludwig was so done. His face turned a bright red and he tried to cover it with a hand. "I-I didn't know you'd be coming for me so soon... I thought you vould vant a night alone... Like I mean some love sex but I didn't take you for a man to vant to actually do it... Right before vows und stuff... Ahh fuck..." Getting his words all jumbled together the tall blond sat down on the bed and held his arms out. "J-Just get it done und over vith..."

-

Roderich pretended to be more tired than he was, turning sleepily towards the heavily blushing German with an eyebrow raised. "Ludwig...? What are you going on about so late at night?" he asked, sitting up with a small yawn. Dark violet eyes squinted at the blonde as if wondering why in the world he was there, his entire face covered with a look of confusion. A small, amused smile stretched across his lips at the man's rash words, a short burst of laughter escaping his lips at the German's submissive posture. "Ah. I get it... Italy must have taken you to the wrong room. It is such a large house and all..." Turning towards him, Roderich pat his head like one would when comforting a small child. "You see, this is actually my room."

-

Ludwig blinked and then slapped himself in the face. "Fucking idiot..." He muttered flopping on his side. "Vell... I'm sorry I invaded your room... I guess... Since I'm here you decide vhere I go. I can go to z'e real spare or I can stay here vith you." a small smile tugged the corner of the German's mouth, slowly rolling over to face Roderich. "Ve can have sex." For a quick second there was a glint of Gilbert in the gleam of Ludwig's look after all... They were brothers. Of course Ludwig was just joking... Or at least he'd hoped. Curious as to what would happen he pulled Roderich close by the waist. "You can alvays surrender to me... You know you'd like being under German rule for vonce." Ludwig's face moved in close to Roderich's and with the tip of his tongue licked the Austrian's cheek and pulled away, blue eyes staring down at him.

-

Roderich smiled slyly, his dark violet eyes unreadable. They really were alike after all. Reaching forward, he dragged his fingers slowly up the German's side, letting his fingers drift underneath the material of his tank top. "I don't think you'd be able to handle me~" he whispered seductively into Ludwig's ear, smirking. With a smooth, quick movement the usually harmless looking Austria shoved Ludwig flat onto the bed, a knee on either side of his body. With practiced ease, he straddled the larger man, a hand firmly wrapped around the German's smooth throat. There was a reason he had been able to be married over and over; he wasn't so easy to conquer. Sliding the hand out from under Ludwig's shirt he purposely let it get pulled higher, exposing the man's toned stomach, his eyes filled with something dark. "This is much more interesting, don't you think~?" he asked, sliding his hand down over Ludwig's still clothed length. "I just want to tie you up and eat you..."

-

Ludwig swallowed hard as he was overthrown with ease the cute brunette nation over top of him. Stroking him. Who the fuck wouldn't get hard?! Ludwig smirked up at Roderich and moved his hands onto the ones over his throat. It all felt like a blur, happening so fast. "V'at is your point in z'is? To prove you von't love me in z'e end?" Moving his hips at an angle, Germany flipped over hitting the floor with a thud on top. "Roderich Edelstein. I vill be your pet if you vant. I've alvays had control you know until you came... Tie me.. Eat me... Beat me... Pity me. Show me v'at your feelings are all about." Blue hues penetrating as they stared down at the brunette Ludwig removed himself from the Austrian and stood up tall, slowly taking his tank off. "Fuck me. Make me yours..."

-

Roderich merely burst into laughter, a broad smile stretching across his lips. "Oh, I like you..." he remarked, amused. It wasn't often his lover's turned the tables so easily on him, let alone invited him to do whatever he wished. Dark violet eyes glittered with warmth, sly as they watched the blonde on top of him. 'No wonder Gilbert hid him so well from me...' he thought, entertained by the German's bold words. For a virgin, he sure knew how to get things started. Standing, he ran a hand through his messy hair, smile twisting into a mischievous smirk. Yes, they really were alike; Germany and Prussia. "Very well" he replied, leaning forward to take the German's chin in his grasp, "I'll make you beg at my feet like agood boy~"

~A small while later~

Roderich stood fully dressed in a sensual variation of his uniform, his riding crop pressed teasingly against Ludwig's length. He'd tied the younger country up with leather bindings, their edges cold and faintly sharp as they dug into the blonde's skin. Smirking, he played with his body, knowing full well that the small ribbon he'd tied around the tip of his lover's penis kept him from coming. It was cruel, but he'd seen the look on the man's face as he made it press painfully against the lace- he'd enjoyed it. "A shame, I'd thought one like yourself would be familiar with this kind of thing... Guess I'll just have to teach you" he murmured, watch Ludwig as he lay there, unable to move. Slowly, he lowered his crop, pressing it inside the German's body, not being nearly as gentle as he had with Gilbert during his first time.

-

Ludwig smirked back at Roderich as he was taken over and done up in leather strappings and bound down into a submissive state, the leather dug and the crop stung making pure bliss as Ludwig was filling up with cum being held back. "A shame? Oh master Roderich. Teach me. Show me your love!" The blond cried out as the crop went in. An item being used to take away his virginity was all but what Ludwig needed. His strong toned body flexed and instead of giving in he kept going, being bad on purpose to tease himself more and more liking it. "M-Master... Tell me v'at you vant of me. Bitte... I'll beg you all night long if I have to! A-Ah! Nh..."

-

"Naughty boy. Does Master have to whip you~?" Roderich murmured suavely, thrusting the crop harshly into Ludwig's body as he resisted. With a dark smile he ran his fingers across his lover's length, massaging the flesh with slow movements of his hand, making it strain even more against the ribbon tied around it. "Hmm.. What I want?" he asked innocently, stopping before Ludwig could get too pleasured by the action. Moving closer, Roderich lowered his head and bit harshly into the German's neck, moving lower as he created a trail of bright red marks left by his sharp teeth. Glancing up he grinned, letting his tongue drag across his lover's sensitive skin. "I don't really know, to be honest... You're body, you're heart, you're country. I guess I want them all..." he answered finally, lifting his mouth away from Ludwig's body with a sly smile. 'I want you both...' he thought, a stab of loneliness twisting in his chest, 'maybe then I'll be able to keep you all from disappearing.' Apparently done with waiting, Roderich reached down and pulled the crop out, tossing it to the side as he stripped, doing so in a slow, sensual manner, knowing Ludwig watching. "Shall we end this~?"

-

Ludwig smiled beautifully for his master, "nein. You don't have to whip me my master... A-Ahh~" The bites going down his body made him quiver, the stroking of his length almost washing him away from his current sanity. Eyes rolled back in bliss they came back to focus on Roderich, the whip being taken out. "H-ahh! You can have my heart. You can have my body und all it has to offer you. Being in z'is country is so lonely master... Take it und have just me..." A tear fell down the blond's face without meaning to as he spoke out about his own feelings with much mistake. Over the years his masters were all bad, the most recent trying to expand him too fast and causing a sudden pull of loneliness and isolation.(Hitler). As Roderich slowly and teasingly stripped, Ludwig watched unable to wipe the tears away due to the leather. "End z'is. Claim me. B-bitte master. You're so perfect. Make me remember us forever z'is vay forever..." Ludwig didn't take his eyes off Roderich, the tears didn't matter anymore, he knew deep down that Roderich probably hated his guts and enjoyed the sight. But god he was spectacular to the blond, only Roderich seemed to make his heart beat as fast as it was drowned in emotion. Not even Italy could do it and he was to be married first, rejected for the order of Prussia.

-

Roderich could only oblige to Ludwig's desperate requests, leaning forward to press his lips firmly against the tear-streaked face of his lover, wiping away his tears with the pad of his thumb. One hand raised to caress the German's face, the other sliding down to grip Ludwig's hips, digging his fingers into his skin. Without warning, Roderich pressed his body against Ludwig's, grinding their hips together. A harsh breath came from the Austrian's lips, their bodies pressed together, his length rubbing against Ludwig's. A small twinge of guilt knotted in his chest, forcing him to close his eyes in order to hide the look within them. As attractive and willing as Ludwig was, it still felt wrong to be doing the things he was to the much younger country. Gilbert's face rose in Roderich's mind, refusing to leave as he moved against the Prussian's very own little brother. It felt like cheating, despite his lover being the one who had made them marry in the first place. 'I shouldn't be doing this...' he thought, his fingers tightening around Ludwig's skin. Removing the ribbon, he took both of their lengths in his hand, grinding them together with growing speed, finding he was unable to bring himself to actually penetrating the German's body. 'I'm sorry Gil... I don't think I'll be able to love your brother like I loved you...' Panting, he moaned as he came, their combined body heat causing his skin to be covered with a light sheen of sweat.

-

Ludwig kissed Roderich back best to his ability moaning as he dug his fingers into him, unable to control what was happening Ludwig simply came with Roderich, most landing on his stomach. There were no words exchanged. Ludwig knew fully now that he was used more as an experiment for Roderich's own feelings. The German lay numbly on the bed and awaited to be unstrapped. Once he was free he rubbed the marks he wore without pride.

When Ludwig was done cleaning himself off from the cum he stood in front of the bed where Roderich was and crossed his arms. "Roderich. Do not come to me anymore. Gilbert left a hole in both of our hearts und z'is happened vay too soon. I'm sorry... I can't be vith someone... Who can't even look at me as zhey-" Ludwig stopped speaking his mind as a loud snap echoed in the room. Italy stood in front of Ludwig and slapped his face. Never would the peaceful lazy male normally do such a thing unless he had good reason. Breathing out slowly, Ludwig placed his hand over his reddened cheek. "Feliciano..." He whispered. But it was too late. Italy ran out of the room as fast as he had entered, after hearing the whole ordeal from just outside the door after a bad dream.  
Ludwig shivered and crawled onto the bed slowly after a moment, moving over Roderich. "Does z'is make you happy? Seeing me in pain for letting my bruder go? Is z'at it?! A punishment?! I have no heart und no feelings. I vas told z'is growing up." Pointing to his heart Ludwig noted a scar that was almost transparent through years of healing. "It vas stolen. Yet... Here I am... Feeling pain und emotion. Z'e man who has it stole Gilbert you know. Vhy do you think it's much too small und falls out all z'e time?" Germany snapped, his face entangled with different rages as he collapsed over Roderich's lap crying hard. In the end... He really just lost everything he ever cared about. All for one person his brother couldn't leave.

-

Roderich sighed, running a hand through his hair slowly. 'I've messed up... bad...' he thought, shaking his head. Looking up he was about to say something to the upset German when Italy walked in, his eyes widening in utter surprise. He knew of their relationship, but to see the look on the poor man's face... It was something completely different. Dark violet eyes watched the small country silently, turning his head away as the door slammed against the wall. Guilt made a cold pit in his stomach, churning as he fully realized just what he had allowed to happen. 'I'm such a fool...' He must have had a bad dream, like Germany had ranted about before, when he'd thought Austria was Italy... Heaving a heavy sigh, he pressed a hand against his face, as if it would hide his shame. "I didn't come here to have sex, you know..." the words came out of their own accord, sounding as weary as Roderich felt. Lifting his head, he met Ludwig's gaze with a dull look, his usual facade crumbling away piece by piece. "I wanted to mess with you, even scare you a little. Anything to distract you- to distract me- from his absence... I guess I got a little too caught up in that. I just wanted to forget the pain, even to the point that I'd use a child to do so." Tears fell from those dark eyes, the sadness within them carrying the weight of the centuries he'd seen. "You think it hurts..? I've known Prussia my entire life. We grew up together, in this very house. I've almost lost him countless times and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. Did you know he nearly killed himself? After old Fritz died he was so broken that he could hardly protect himself. This time I thought I was finally strong enough to do something, to do anything... You know what? I'm still trying. I keep thinking if I can keep his little brother from wasting himself away that I'll have a chance of saving Germany- that I might be able to savehim." Standing, he turned away from the sobbing German, his eyes shadowed. "I never wanted to love Prussia..." he whispered, hands curling into fists, "sometimes I still can't tell if what I feel is love or loathing..." Unable to think of anything more to say, he gathered his clothes and left the room, passing Italy's room with a sad glance, hearing the crying coming from inside. Turning his away, he continued to his room. He needed a shower...

~Later~

The water had burned his skin until he couldn't bear the pain anymore. Scalded, Roderich sat on the edge of his bed, the door to his room firmly closed and locked. Gilbert's cross lay in his hands, pressed against his face as he let the tears flow, finally free after holding them in for so long. He'd kept it all these years, ever since the day the pale Prussian and him had first kissed... The cross and the ring he clutched to his chest, curling in on himself, trying to shut the pain away. "I miss you... I miss you so much..." he whispered, turning his eyes towards the ceiling, as if some unseen God would hear his prayers and return Gilbert home. Sobs racked his throat, making it raw with pain. Dragging himself to his feet, he walked unsteadily towards the door, opening it and making his way quietly down the stairs. Without thinking, he found himself at his beloved piano, the smooth ivory of the keys beneath his fingers. It was always so much easier to express his emotions with music rather than words...

-

Ludwig lay across the bed disgusted with himself and everything around him. The tears never stopped falling, 'I miss you so much... Why did you have to leave me all alone Gilbert? There are so many things you did that I couldn't... I just want to see you one last time. You were the only person to understand how I truly felt about this corrupted world...' Ludwig knew what he needed to do then, hearing the saddening piano music Ludwig got to his feet and slumped down to the kitchen. He had broken his promise of trying to make the man his brother loved happy. Unthinkingly, Ludwig pulled a bottle of pills from the cupboard and one by one he began to swallow them until the ones turned into a huge handful. He had made sure he took every last one. It didn't take long for them to effect him, hunching over in pain he spit out blood and fell to the floor. Growing more and more tired Ludwig began to close his eyes. 'So I lived for a short time? It was worth every last second having you there... Now it's no more...'

~

As Roderich play piano a soft hand touched his shoulder and then another hand on his other shoulder, they were as cold as ice and pale. An almost unrecognizable Gilbert stood behind him fading in and out slowly. "He needs you..." He whispered before turning into a cloud of nothing. "He needs you" Kept being said over and over in the room once Gilbert was gone, echoing through. And then a fully formed Gilbert stood on the other side of the piano in Roderich's view with tears falling down his face, "West... You're dying..." He whispered. "We're dying together..." The sad face turned into one of fear that would sink into another's very soul. "My love..." He reached out towards Roderich and fell to his knees fading in and out. "I'm too late... To save him..."

-

Eyes red from tears, Roderich could hardly believe when he heard Gilbert's voice behind him, the feeling of frigid hands chilling his already numb heart. It was almost impossible to see, his vision blurred and far too hazy to see anything clearly. "G-gil...?" he whispered, his voice raw from crying. Eyes wide, he whipped around, fingers hovering over the keys as if frozen there. Had he heard what he thought he'd heard...? Believing himself to have gone insane, he could only stare as his dear Prussian appeared before him, too shocked to speak. The piano bench fell to the floor with a loud clatter, shoved aside as Roderich leapt to his feet, taking the fading man into his arms with a small sob. "You can't possiblybe here..." he murmured hoarsely, face streaked with tears. He didn't want to believe it- he was afraid to. "I'm so sorry mein liebe... I couldn't take care of him..." The fear on his lover's face made his heart twist with guilt and sorrow, adding to the pain that already burrowed itself inside his chest. He didn't need to see Ludwig to know what was happening; if it was affecting Gilbert that strongly, then the German was already dead... "Please.. Please, don't go..." he begged, face twisted in grief. Once more, he was completely helpless, unable to save the one he cared the most about.

-

Gilbert's fear left his face when Roderich held him being replaced with a dopey smile. "Oi oi, look at you... So unawesome." Brushing his hand across Roderich's face and taking away some of the tears, Gilbert moved his face close and kissed his cheek. "No tears ja? Hitler is dead... Ludwig is retaliating because of z'is tragic event, he vill be okay if you help him okay? ...Don't give me z'at look please... Think of z'is as a new beginning for us... I don't have long... I wish I knew how to say good bye... But..." In the last few seconds of his life, Gilbert pressed his lips to Roderich's exactly the way he had all those years ago when he first fell in love. Everything felt the same. Everything would stay the same inside Gilbert's mind and heart. Two heartbeats and a skip, the Prussian empire was no more.

-

Roderich barely managed a sad smile as Gilbert wiped away his tears, turning his head to press it against the Prussian's palm. A part of him felt like this would be the last time he saw his love, feeling his heart shattering into thousands of pieces in his chest as he watched him begin to fade completely. It was all he could do to not break down then and there, returning Gilbert's kiss with a broken longing. "Ich liebe dich Gilbert..." he murmured, unable to hold back the burning tears that escaped his eyes as Gilbert disappeared right there in his arms. Emptiness filed him, leaving him shaking numbly on the floor, eyes blank as they stared at the polished wood. A broken sob escaped his lips as Roderich fought to keep control of himself, getting unsteadily to his feet. 'West... I need to save Germany...' he thought, whirling around and dashing out of the room. He finally stumbled into the kitchen after having searched most of the house, banging against walls and counters along the way as he went. "Ludwig!" he exclaimed when he spotted him, falling to his knees beside the dying blonde. Turning him over, he checked for a pulse, staring at all the empty pill bottles around them. 'Did he... Attempt suicide by overdosing...?' he wondered, brows furrowed as he searched for the phone he knew to be somewhere on one of the kitchen counters. Shaking, he managed to dial the number for the local doctor, one that specialized in people like Germany- ones that weren't normal humans. "Please! I need emergency medical care! I-I think he swallowed a bunch of pills... Just hurry!" he cried into the receiver, hanging up the phone as soon as he finished speaking to the doctor. "FELICIANO! Get down here and help me!" he shouted, trying to pick up the blood-covered man in order to drag him closer to the front door. "Italy!"

~Later~

Roderich sat, exhausted, in the waiting room. Italy sat next to him, sobbing quietly with his face in his hands. They'd managed to carry- well, drag- Ludwig out of the house and into the waiting car, but even Roderich didn't know if Germany would survive. The country maybe, but Ludwig... Sighing, he leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. Now all they could do was wait.


	7. A Second Chance

It was an exhausting night. Ludwig lay in the hospital bed in a coma, a cold coma. Machines breathing for him and keeping him from dehydration. It was a cold blank sleep.  
As Roderich closed his eyes a man walked into the hospital with a hoodie on, it was kept over his face hiding it in the shadow. The man was small and fairly skinny, his hand shook as he signed a paper to stay in the waiting room. His walk had a small limp to it and without seeming to care he slumped down beside Roderich. He kept his hood on and didn't face him. It wasn't long before a hand moved placing an ear piece at Roderich's ear. The hand was cold as it touched his skin. A soft melody of piano came through and the man leaned against Roderich's shoulder, snuggling in tiredly. "Let me rest?" It asked in a soft whisper, the voice holding a familiar tone. It was Gilbert.

-

Roderich could hear the footsteps of someone else entering the room but chose to ignore them, assuming them to be from one of the other visitors or even a doctor making their way to another part of the hospital. Exhausted, he could just manage to keep himself from slipping out of the hard cushion of his chair, trying to get even a little rest as he sat slumped against the wall. He hadn't slept the entire night, only sleeping when Gilbert had slept at his house. Even then, weeks' worth of sleep-deprivation finally began to take its toll on him. The half delirious Austrian barely noticed when someone sat next to him, his eyes sleepily glancing at them from where his head lay back against the wall behind him.'Another visitor...?' he wondered absently, noting how small they were, as if they too were in poor health. 'Maybe a patient, then..-' Dark violet eyes widened in surprise as the earbud of a headphone was placed in his ear, playing an instrument he knew all too well. Staring, he watched as the man pressed against him, their skin cold as ice. "... Y-you..." he whispered hoarsely, not believing what he was hearing. Surely it was just his mind playing tricks on him...? "Mein liebe...?" he asked, grasping the stranger's pale chin in his hand.

-

Gilbert's eyes opened as Roderich took his chin. "V'at...?" He mumbled tiredly. Sitting up and moving his face away the hood fell down revealing silver hair and eyes as red as crimson. His face was a bit thinner than it had once been. A nurse came into the room then with an iv, taking Gilbert's arm and pushing it through. "Here you are. The doctor will be seeing you in a few moments sir." She smiled, leaving the way she had come. His eyes never wandered from Roderich's face. Even as the needle went into his skin. Who was that man? He understood the German language? Why was it sad to look at him? Why did he feel the want to touch his face? Reaching up, Gilbert's cold hand gently brushed Roderich's cheek, a soft smile coming to his face. "You need sleep sir. You're eyes are carrying a sad burden ja? I can tell because zhey make me vant to cry."

-

A bright dusting of crimson swept across Roderich's cheeks as he came face to face with a man that looked almost exactly like Gilbert, his dark violet eyes meeting with their own crimson hues. 'Does he not remember me...?' he thought, eyes widening in sudden realization, 'no... it's not him.' Turning his head away quickly, the disoriented Austrian could only sit there and stare at the wall on the other side of the room, unable to meet the stranger's eyes. "S-sorry... I was still half-asleep. I didn't mean to grab you like that" he stammered, horribly embarrassed. It would make sense that someone else had come into the waiting room to see a doctor. He was, after all, in a public hospital. Knowing that it was just another patient sent a small, sharp jab of pain into his heart. Prussia was dead, his mind was just playing tricks on him. Hell in the state he was in he could have been completely delusional, making it seem that someone- that probably looked nothing like the actual Gilbert- was really his lost love. Sighing, he ran a tired hand through his hair, the feel of the man's cold hand on his cheek making the skin tingle faintly. He needed sleep. After the doctor told him what was going on he'd go home, though he wasn't sure how much of home it really was anymore...

-

"Oh... Okay zhen." Gilbert shrugged, pulling his hand away from Roderich's face and relaxing back quite disturbed by what had just happened emotionally. It was then the nurse came in with a smile, "Mr. Beilschmidt? Please come this way." Gilbert looked at her and nodded slowly, getting up and limping slightly. "I almost forgot v'at my name vas again..." He muttered to her, only getting a giggle for response. There was a slight bit of noise in the background as a doctor read through papers, a few nurses crowding him. "I don't know why he's alive. All I know is he was found on the streets of Berlin panicking. We'll just have to do tests and send him someplace safe for the night. There's no way he can afford to stay here without a leader." The doctor's face was flustered as questions came out of another doctor, a couple nurses and one Country specialist. As quickly as they whizzed through the waiting room they all went into the room Gilbert was brought to. It was a good 15 minutes before a loud crash sounded along with a scream. The door opened and a Prussian stumbled out, his eyes void of emotion. Blood coated his sweater from where the iv ripped out of his arm. His sight settled on Roderich quite violently before he smiled and ran out of the hospital all too fast. Clashing and crashing the Doctors and nurses went on the chase, losing him outside.  
"Lock all the doors down and keep quiet about this. Send out a hitman too. The kid doesn't know his strength as a former country he's dangerous." The doctor spoke out of breath to the receptionist of the hospital. The rest of the nurses and doctor moved back to the room. "He killed her." The doctor muttered lastly, trying to keep his tone low and concealed.

-

Roderich wasn't sure how to react, his head snapping up at the sound of the man's name. 'Beilschmidt... Gilbert Beilschmidt?' he wondered, struggling to understand what was happening. Surely he wasn't hearing things now? There's no way some random stranger could look and sound so alike to Prussia; having the same name was impossible. It had to be... Shaking his head, he ran his hands over his face tiredly, trying to push his troubled thoughts away. The sooner he could leave this place the better... A sudden loud crash startled him, making him nearly jump out of his seat as he looked towards the source of the noise. What was going on? "Stop him!" one of the doctors shouted as the man from before stumbled back into the waiting room, his eyes unnervingly empty. A strange kind of conviction settled into his mind as their eyes met, dark violet staring into blood-red. 'Gilbert.' Leaping to his feet, the usually composed Austrian sprinted after him, as if his very life depended on it. He didn't need to hear the hushed word of the hospital staff; he knew it was him. Ignoring all common sense, he pushed past the doctors and chased after the pale Prussian. Pain knotted in his heart, twisting deeper into the wounds he had tried to ignore. He knew it would just hurt him more if he did catch up to the silver-haired man, but it was impossible for him to merely turn and walk away from even the smallchance of seeing his love again. " _Preußen!_ " he shouted, moving faster and more determined than the doctors falling behind them.

-

Gilbert ran until he couldn't run anymore, his legs felt like jelly when he finally stopped with the loss of blood. He was skittish and jumped over the slightest thing. That hospital was a scary place... Hearing Roderich behind him, Gilbert turned fast causing his legs to bail out. He fell to the cold ground hard and began to cry hard. "I don't understand! Vhy is z'is happening?! I don't vant to die..." Shivering and shaking like a leaf, the Prussian curled up into a small defensive ball.

-

Roderich drew in harsh, shallow breaths. He'd never been one for physically draining activities, having to ride a horse or car just to go long distances. Face flushed by effort, he had to double over to catch his breath, hardly believing that he'd been able to keep up with the light-footed Prussian at all. 'Dammit... I really need to workout more often...' he thought, panting heavily. Gritting his teeth, the exhausted Austrian lifted his head to make sure Gilbert hadn't tried running off again. "P-please... Wait..." he gasped, reaching a hand pleadingly towards the flighty man in front of him. Coughing into his hand, he straightened and ran a hand nervously through his hair. Were to start? Glancing down, he frowned at the shaking man sadly, eyes full of pity. Stepping forward, he knelt down and cautiously took the Prussian's arm in his hands, taking out a handkerchief as he began to staunch the wound. "Relax..." he murmured, dark violet eyes on the injury, calm despite the strangeness of the situation he found himself in. "I'm just going to stop the bleeding, ja? Stay still, it'll be done in a few minutes..." Roderich's heart twisted with pity, his arm moving on its own as it pulled Gilbert close to him, holding him in a comforting embrace. "I would never hurt you."

-

Gilbert clung to Roderich like he was clinging onto someone for life, tears ran down his face heavily. This man was warm... He had a sweet scent that almost seemed familiar, Gilbert's mind spun and he slowly looked up at Roderich. "Z-zhey vanted to kill me... I-I hit a voman... I'm broken und... Alone..." He whispered weakly, crimson eyes confused with fear. "I f-feel so cold all z'e time... V-vhy am I speaking like z'is to a stranger? Y-you vere in z'e v-vaiting room." Frowning, Gilbert touched Roderich's face and gently caressed the smooth soft skin with his thumb, "nein... I know you... W-who are you?"

-

Roderich's eyes narrowed in discomfort and grief, his heart twisting with pain. So he really didn't remember..? 'Did he lose all of his memories when he dissolved...?' he wondered, staring sadly into those bloody-red eyes as if they would give him the answer. 'No... you don't know me...' The words sat on the tip of his tongue, there but unable to be spoken. It would be so much easier to just disappear, letting Gilbert forget him. Maybe then he'd be able to focus on keeping his country strong... 'I can't...' he thought, resting his forehead on the Prussian's shoulder. 'I don't want to lose you anymore.' Sighing, he returned the injured man's clinging touch by tightening his arm around him protectively. Perhaps there wassomething he could do for once. "My name is Roderich Eldenstein. We... Grew up together" he murmured, using his human name rather than the one of his country. Lifting his head, he gave the man a small, tight smile. "You can trust me. I won't let them hurt you."

-

Grimacing, Gilbert snuggled his face into Roderich's chest. The chill in his bones were less with his warmth. "Nice to meet you again..." He whispered feeling calm now that he was told safe. "I vas told I'm Beilschmidt number 3 by z'e people who located me." Roderich was kind... His eyes were very heavy though. As if he were searching for something he lost long ago. Unable to help himself Gilbert innocently pinched Roderich's soft cheek and smiled, "d-do you have any food? I haven't been able to eat in a long time." Without permission, the albino reached inside Roderich's pocket. He felt a cold object in there and pulled it out carefully. "V'at is-" His eyes zoned in on a ring, blush flooding to his face. "Liebe..." He whispered, another warmth flooding through his heart. But this one hurt. "Ouch..." He whispered, slowly looking up at Roderich. "V'at is z'is?"

-

Squeezing his eyes shut in mock pain as his cheeks were pinched, it was all hRoderich could do not to let a small amused smile creep across his lips. "Not nice to meet your hands again..." he muttered, giving the pale Prussian a half-hearted glare. It was strange, being so close like this again, joking around as if it were the most natural thing in the world. 'I missed your obnoxious behavior...' he thought, eyes glittering with tired amusement. Even as weak as he was, Gilbert still managed to wrap the Austrian around his finger. He tried to ignore the feeling of anger rising in him, the very thought of what those humans had tried to do making him want to storm that hospital. 'I won't let them get away with this' he thought, about to say something more when a pair of hands suddenly invaded his pockets, the awkwardly ticklish feeling making him stop in his tracks. Crimson dusted Roderich's face, his eyes darting away as Gilbert unknowingly pulled out his ring. "T-that's... Uh, well.. You see..." he stammered, extremely uncomfortable. How was he supposed to explain something like that!? Gilbert really did find every way to mess with his composure... "Mein liebe..." he managed finally, staring at the ground, "Gave that to me when they proposed."

-

Gilbert viewed the ring all around his face a bit blushed itself, his facial expression changed quite a bit as he looked at it more and more curious. "Liebe..." He whispered slowly as if trying to piece something together in his mind. He knew this ring meant something to the other and himself for he recognized it as his once with a blurry figment. "If zhey gave it to you, vhy don't you vear it?" He asked crimson eyes trying to pry for more answers but they noted he was tired in the face and closed his mouth. "Vhere is home? Do I have vone anymore?" Feeling better and more stable the Prussian got to his feet and held his hand out kindly to help Roderich up. "M-may I follow you to your home? I feel like mine vould be invaded..."

Roderich didn't reply, his face flushed crimson and his eyes firmly on the ground as the curious Prussian pried for more answers. He really didn't know what to say, especially to someone who had forgotten all about the ring and its promise. It was just too hard to explain- without giving everything away, of course. Still hesitant on telling Gilbert everything he had forgotten, afraid that it would be too soon after introducing himself. "I..." he began quietly, his voice trailing off as his mind whirled in thought. It was a massive relief when Gilbert changed the subject, a quiet sigh escaping his lips as he avoided having to reveal their past relationship. "Well... Home would be miles away in Berlin, if I'm not mistaken. I'm not too sure how we'd get there right now though..." he explained, running a hand nervously through his hair as he stood, accepting Gilbert's outstretched hand. Murmuring a simple "thank you" he looked around, making sure no one was around, still worried that one of the hospital staff from before might be trying to find them. _'I'll need to explain to Italy later about my sudden depature... Maybe I can convince him to stay with Germany for a while. It might give me enough time to sort all this out...'_ he thought, stepping carefully out towards the street, peering down the dark, empty road. Glancing back at Gilbert he lay a comforting hand on the man's shoulder, giving him a small reassuring smile. "Of course you can stay with me. It's probably for the best, with everything going on right now, to avoid going to your house."

Gilbert watched Roderich carefully as he peered out at the road. It was only a matter of seconds before he grabbed Roderich's hand and moved in close to him with a scared shyness of being left alone.

Once at Roderich's house Gilbert looked about. His memory loss didn't make him forget this place. He knew where everything was without consciously knowing. Everything Roderich had told him seemed to be right. The uneasy feeling of distrust was fully gone away and so, he let his guard down, falling asleep on the couch in the warmth of the den. He truly was exhausted from the running and bloodloss. His hand was still carefully wrapped in the material Roderich used to stop the bleeding.

-

The soft, flowing sound of music drifted quietly through the house, coming from the Austrian's study. Roderich sat at his beloved piano, eyes closed as his fingers danced lightly over the ivory surface of the keys. The clear notes expressed emotions he himself found he could not, his face relaxed as he concentrated, his mind entirely in the music.

He had no words to tell Gilbert what had happened between them, nor that which he had brought his dear little brother to... In the end, he felt it was better he said nothing at all. Germany would be in a coma for quite a while, but he'd have come up with a solution by then. Perhaps he'd get the Axis together and help him through it, he owed Ludwig that much. He didn't know if Gilbert's memories would ever return, but to be honest, he didn't want them too. Sighing, he let his fingers come to rest as his thoughts swirled uncontrollably in his mind. He wouldn't put Prussia through that kind of pain again. 'I think it's time for a new start...' Standing, he headed to the kitchen and began cleaning up the mess from Ludwig's breakdown. Making his way through the house he wiped away all remnants of their past together, taking down photos and illustrations of their childhood he locked them all safely away in a chest in his study. Maybe one day he'd be ready to show Gilbert, to tell him the truth, but for now he would hide it all away. It'd take years, he knew, but he hope one day Gilbert would remember. Until then, he'd help him as Roderich- not Austria.


End file.
